25 April 2013

Unalaska Police Blotter

More adventures from our friends in Dutch Harbor, away to the southwest on Unalaska Island:

Assistance Rendered-- Officers responded to a residence to assist a very intoxicated individual in removing an unknown and unwanted guest. The complainant pointed to an individual on the floor, stating, “I don’t know that dude and he has to go.” The dude was none other than a drunken female whom the complainant has known for most of his life. The complainant refused to believe that the “dude” was not a “dude.” Officers were eventually able to convince him of the identity of the “Dudette” and all was again well in his world.

Drunk Disturbance-- Officers assisted with three drunken individuals who had overstayed their welcome. All three left in a jovial mood.

Welfare Check-- The captain of a vessel at dock reported a missing crew member. The crew member was last seen on the back deck smoking a cigarette. After an exhaustive search of the area around the dock and shoreline, the errant crew member arrived back at the boat after a night of liberal libation.

Traffic Roads-- Caller reported a large boulder obstructing traffic. An officer responded and with herculean effort pushed the boulder out of the roadway.

Suspicious Person/Activity-- Caller reported that an individual had threatened to kill him. Officers contacted the complainant, who could not articulate how he came about the belief that he was going to be killed, nor could he state why he thought the other individual wanted to kill him. The suspect had no clue what the officers or the complainant were talking about. It is believed that sleep deprivation played a role in this incident.

All taken from the Dutch Harbor Telegraph.


PioneerPreppy said...

WOOHOOO the crime wave continues with masculine Dudettes and Herculean boulder rolling ATlas-like police officers.


All is right in the entire world now.

Rev. Paul said...

Preppy, you're a hoot!

PioneerPreppy said...

I can't help it I love the blotter and I would prolly marry the writer if it was a she and I wasn't already married. We have the same sense of humor the only difference is the writer seems to NOT get fired for it like I always have in the past :)

Rev. Paul said...

Preppy, the Blotter is written by a police sergeant who happens to be a she. She might take exception to your marital status, though. :)