12 March 2014

Classic Unalaska Police Blotter

I'd post new reports, but they haven't updated their page since Feb. 22nd. So I mined earlier reports, going back several years, to bring you these.*

Found Property - A red and gray rolling duffle bag, found rolling along the South Channel Bridge with no owner in sight.
 
Traffic Roads - Thousands of feet of crab line strung back and forth across a major thoroughfare prevented road maintenance crews from clearing snow. A responsible party was contacted and advised of the problem.
Clearly, ghosts are somehow involved!
Assistance Rendered - A man who had gone to the landfill to take pictures found himself locked in when he attempted to leave shortly after closing time. A responsible party was notified of the problem.

Animal - An exasperated, exhausted immature eagle which had entrapped itself inside a crab pot was able to fly to safety after an officer climbed a stack of crab pots and cut a raptor-sized hole in the netting.
 
MVA Damage - A man departing the Unalaska Post Office backed straight into the only other vehicle in the entire parking lot, a marked police car. The police car slid across the ice-slicked parking lot and received only minor damage. The driver was unable to explain how he had missed seeing the patrol car.
 
Traffic Crime - Caller reported a possibly intoxicated driver traveling in what appeared to be the wrong lane. An officer contacted the quite sober suspect, who advised he had been having difficulty discerning the road markings through the blowing snow.
 
Animal A dog, which had made itself at home in a processing plant galley, was impounded and lodged in far less tasty digs.
Sounds like Belle found another hole in the dog run.


* No need to thank me; it's just the kind of guy I am. :)

12 comments:

ProudHillbilly said...

LOL!

Rev. Paul said...

:)

PioneerPreppy said...

"Far less tasty digs"....

Damn

Rev. Paul said...

Yep; a classic, right there. :)

Old NFO said...

ROTF at the last one... :-)

Rev. Paul said...

Concur!

Cathy said...

Ya can't make this stuff up!

Rev. Paul said...

You're right, Cathy; it wouldn't be nearly as funny.

Keads said...

Ha!

Rev. Paul said...

:)

threecollie said...

Thank goodness for responsible parties!

Rev. Paul said...

Shucks, Ma'am, who wants to be responsible? :)