Police Blotter: "Probably Not a Good Idea"

Criminal Mischief - The owners of an inflatable dinghy reported that the pontoons on their boat had been slashed sometime between Sunday evening and Tuesday. Other minor vandalism was done to the C-Float area during the same time period. The boat owners identified a group of then-intoxicated men as potential suspects but did not wish to have the matter investigated further.

Clearly, a major crime wave in progress...

Assistance Rendered - Drunken caller asked officers to remove a drunken friend from the caller's residence. By the time officers arrived, the caller had forgotten what he wanted.

 

Assistance Rendered Again - Drunken caller again asked officers to remove the same drunken friend from the caller's residence, then called back to say he no longer needed police assistance.

 

Assault - The drunken caller's drunken brother reported that the drunken friend had assaulted his brother. An officer responded and found one drunken brother on the floor; the drunken friend was nowhere to be found. Neither brother was able to accurately describe what had happened.  

If at first you don't succeed ..?

Fire Safety - Officer advised a man that burning waste oil in a barrel which was surrounded by other barrels of flammable liquids was probably not a good idea. The man agreed with this assessment and subsequently shut down the incineration operation.

So does that count as inflammatory behavior?