18 January 2016

Redneck Medical Terminology

Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not understand the seriousness of most medical terminology:

(Medical Term
Redneck Definition)

Artery
The study of paintings

Bacteria
Back door to cafeteria

Barium
What doctors do when patients die

Benign
What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section
A neighborhood in Rome

Cat scan
Searching for Kitty

Cauterize
Made eye contact with her

Colic
A sheep dog

Coma
A punctuation mark

Dilate
To live long

Enema
Not a friend

Fester
Quicker than someone else

Fibula
A small lie

Impotent
Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain
Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff
A Doctor's cane

Morbid
A higher offer

Nitrates
Rates of Pay for Working at Night, normally more money than days

Node
I knew it

Outpatient
A person who has fainted

Pelvis
Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative
A letter carrier

Recovery Room
Place to do upholstery

Rectum
Nearly killed him

Secretion
Hiding something

Seizure
Roman Emperor

Tablet
A small table

Terminal Illness
Getting sick at the airport

Tumor
One plus one more

Urine
Opposite of you're out

4 comments:

Rob said...

Outstanding Padre, Oh you can take your cold weather and wind chills back anytime....LOL

Rev. Paul said...

Thanks, Rob. And please, send the cold air back this way.

juvat said...

I think the one for enema was spot on!

Rev. Paul said...

You're right, of course. An enema is no friend! :)