Women will understand this, and men should memorize it.
Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other.
Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other.
DANGEROUS | SAFER | SAFEST | ULTRA SAFE |
What's for dinner? | Can I help you with dinner? | Where would you like to go for dinner? | Here, have some wine. |
Are you wearing that? | You sure look good in brown! | WOW! Look at you! | Here, have some wine |
What are you so worked up about? | Could we be overreacting? | Here's my paycheck. | Here, have some wine. |
Should you be eating that? | You know, there are a lot of apples left. | Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? | Here, have some wine. |
What did you DO all day? | I hope you didn't over-do it today. | I've always loved you in that robe! | Here, have some wine. |
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly, Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one:
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh ... and men who need a warning.
Then have some wine.
h/t Dana
6 comments:
Chocolate works too
Great Stuff!
Thanks!
(of course I've no idea to what any of this refers...)
Calmer Half is, I think, not enjoying learning about this aspect of the difference between counseling marriages and actually being in one.
But he might finally be understanding why our favorite photographer stocks LOTS of chocolate. And some wine. And beer. And chocolate. And here, he says to me, have some chocolate, and may I get a cup of tea for you?
It's called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
But... but... "Do You Want To Be Shot In The Kneecap?" acronymizes to "DYWTBSITK"!
You are aware that the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist is that you can negotiate with a terrorist, aren't you?
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