22 July 2014

God Forgives Us, But How Do We Forgive Ourselves?

Frequently in his epistles, the apostle Paul goes to great lengths to describe what we call Christian liberty. In these matters God allows us freedom; he doesn't set down laws prohibiting something or commanding something. The apostle warns us against being judgmental toward our brothers, giving as an example in the Corinthian community the question about eating meat offered to idols. Paul says this has nothing to do with the kingdom of God. He says, "Those of you who have scruples about it, don't judge those who don't" and vice versa. This is a case in which we just have to respect one another.

In those admonitions, Paul uses as his basis this statement: "We are not to be judging people for whom Christ died." He reminds us that "your brother or your sister belongs to Christ. God has forgiven them. Who are you to withhold forgiveness from someone whom God has forgiven?"

Let's look at it this way. If somebody sins against me and that person repents, God forgives them. If I refuse to forgive them, can you think how ghastly that is in the sight of God? God is not obligated to forgive that person. That person has sinned against God, and God has never sinned against anybody. Here I am—a person who is a sinner refusing to forgive other sinners while God, who is sinless, is willing to forgive. Have you ever stopped to think about the arrogance that's in me when I refuse to forgive somebody that God has forgiven?

Now, how could you forgive yourself after God has forgiven you? I've had people come to me and say, "R.C., I committed such and such a sin, and I asked God to forgive me. I've gone to him ten times and asked him to forgive me, but I still don't feel forgiven. What am I going to do?" I don't have any brilliant theological answer to that. I can only tell them to ask God to forgive them one more time. When they say they've done it, I tell them this time I want them to ask God to forgive them for their arrogance. "Arrogance!?" they say. "What do you mean arrogance? I'm the most humble man in America. I've confessed this sin ten times." Doesn't God say that if you confess a sin one time, he'll forgive you? Who are you to refuse the forgiveness of God, and who are you to condemn one whom God has forgiven? That's arrogance. You may not feel arrogant, you may not mean to be arrogant, you may be rolling in humility with all of your confession. But I am telling you that if God has forgiven you, it is your duty to forgive yourself. It's not an option. You must forgive those whom God forgives, including yourself.

~ Excerpted from Now - That's a Good Question! by R.C. Sproul

9 comments:

ProudHillbilly said...

Forgiveness doesn't mean the feelings of regret and guilt go away. It means you learn from them. But we'd rather the bad feelings go away.

Rev. Paul said...

It takes a bit o' practice to let go of the guilt. The Lord would ask, "Why do you keep reminding me of something I've already forgiven?"

Old NFO said...

Yep, that is a hard one...

Cathy said...

Ow. Brings back a painful memory of childhood worrying out loud to my mother that I'd not made a good confession. Her comment as we walked together . . . the very place on the street in my home town where our exchange occurred, has remained with me into old age. She cautioned me that if I didn't believe I'd been forgiven I'd committed another and more serious sin. Sadly . . . I think her attempt to bounce me into 'believing' . . . frightened and isolated me.
(Send me a bill for using your comment section as psychotherapy. I feel a lot better ;) I rather prefer Sproul's admonition that it's 'your duty' to forgive yourself.

Cathy said...

P.S.
Rev. Paul . . do you know anything about how Stephen of "Standing Outside Looking In" is doing?
Very troubling that he's not posted.

Rev. Paul said...

NFO, it's a tough lesson to learn - but once learned, it's absolutely freeing.

Cathy, I do understand. People seem to go out of their way to misunderstand concepts that should be simple (and that's not a slam toward you). Not believing in forgiveness, and feeling guilty about the original offense, can leave one feeling the same way. But the good news is, once we confess the sin, we're forgiven. Once for all. The guilt, as I noted above, takes longer to work through, but it's worth the effort.

Re: Stephen, no I don't.

drjim said...

Never thought of that one before.

Rev. Paul said...

You're one of the blessed few, Jim; good for you. Too many seem to feel that they aren't forgiven, even though they think God forgives everyone else. Sigh ...

drjim said...

I've always felt that if I'm truly sorry for a wrong I've committed, and made amends, then The Big Guy will accept that, and we're about as forgiven as we can be.

It's those times when I truly don't believe that I've committed a wrong that can get a bit "sticky".

And these days, with everybody running around pointing fingers and sticking their noses where they don't belong, it can be a bit difficult to admit that a "wrong" has been done by my standards and beliefs.

I just try and live by The Golden Rule and use The Commandments as my guide,

I figure that's about as good as a sinner like myself can do.....