The yeast police*, they live inside of my head
the yeast police, they won't let me make bread
the yeast police, they fear I make booze instead
the yeast police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no...
From this morning's news:
Owning yeast and sugar isn't enough to get you arrested in most places. But in some communities of rural Alaska, the high rate of alcohol abuse has caused voters to ban booze along with possession of the supplies to make it at home.
First you couldn't buy cold medicine that actually works because some bad guys from the next town might make illegal drugs with it. Big Mama Nanny-State says it's bad, bad!
Next, you couldn't take nail clippers - or water - on an airplane because some bad guys from somewhere in the Middle East used razor blades to hijack some planes. And ZOMG explosives might sneak into your Diet Coke while you're standing in line!!!eleven!!!
Now, you can't have sugar and yeast to make bread, because Zombie Al Capone comes back from the dead to make moonshine in your bathtub. Breadliness is next to booziness, I guess.
What's next? Can't wear clothes on a plane? Have to go through a metal detector to get into the grocery store? Get felt up by a TSA goon before entering your place of employment? Present a travel permit to drive to work?
Where do we draw the line, folks? Have you even reached your line, yet?
* With apologies to "Dream Police", Rick Nielson and Cheap Trick.
10 comments:
"Don't change your routine. Don't let them change your life - or they win."
I used to know a guy who told me, once, "I just don't know how I'll react, when they ask me, "May I see your papers, please?"
I wonder if he's gotten to that point, yet?
7 pounds of yeast is far more than that man would have ever needed to make bread. It would go bad before it's ever made into bread. One pound of yeast is more than enough for a home baker. It's the large quantity that got him in trouble - not the yeast itself.
I flew from Buffalo to St. Louis last Saturday. When I got to security, I had to be xrayed, and the agent told me to flip my crucifix necklace to my back, which I did. Then....something metallic showed up on the xray on my back (no sh**??) so they had to pat me down just to make sure it wasn't a bomb or some such thing....
Oh bloody h... It's possible to turn almost anything into booze - just mash and ferment. There's wild yeast in our air - in fact certain Belgian beers are dependent on them and are created in open vats in order to allow the yeasts to get into them and work. If I remember correctly, one of the crew of the Lewis and Clark expedition used bread to obtain the starter and made beer, much to the joy of his companions. So let's ban bread next, just in case, and while we are at it make sure the journals of Lewis and Clark and any historical novels penned from them (Sorry, Mr. Thom) so that no Alaskans latch onto the idea. And air, we'll have to ban the whole air thing.
If you're still flying you've already submitted.
I quit flying in Nov. 2004.
Just sayin'
Diamondback
Re: "What's next? Can't wear clothes on a plane? Have to go through a metal detector to get into the grocery store? Get felt up by a TSA goon before entering your place of employment? Present a travel permit to drive to work?"
Oh, dear God...Please don't give "them" more ideas. Their feeble little minds come up with more than enough all by their lonesomes...
Q
It's a good thing there's nothing like free honey up there in the woods or someone might make mead.
So much for the ubiquitous Alaskan and Yukon cinnamon buns!
When will they pass a law against sourdough, one wonders?
Rev. Paul,
They can have my sourdough starter when they pry my cold dead hands off it!
Seriously!
Blessings to you,
PolyKahr
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