06 February 2014

Retirement Ain't For Sissies

>A group of pensioners were sitting around talking about all their ailments at Starbucks.

"My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time because my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!" said one lady.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." said another, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy I sometimes fall over!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

"Well, count your blessings," said a woman cheerfully..."Thank God we can all still drive."


h/t AJDShootist

12 comments:

PioneerPreppy said...

OMG don't get me started.

Rev. Paul said...

I hear you, Preppy. Missouri has (or had) a law allowing LEOs to order elderly drivers to be re-tested, if they see bad skillsets on the road, but not many other states have any such provision.

Stephen said...

Makes me feel like a young fella.

Rev. Paul said...

Me too, Stephen. Let's just hope it stays that way.

ProudHillbilly said...

That was my mom...

Rev. Paul said...

Sorry to hear that, PH.

PioneerPreppy said...

I don't know about the law. I do know the entire family had to pull a Liberals wet dream on my grandfather and physically take his car away from him. For his own good. How the state justified letting him keep his license all those years we never could figure out. I know he was mad at us for the remaining years of his life but it had to be done or someone would have been killed besides just himself.

Rev. Paul said...

I saw one elderly fellow forced to get re-tested - and lose his license - after he blew a stop sign & hit a patrol car, back when I was with a dept in east central Missouri.

Cathy said...

Oh . . .heaven help us . . . I'm reading this going "Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep . .. Moi. Moi. Moi. Moi . . ." And then I get to that last line. Bwahahahahahahahahhaha. Those car keys: Outta my cold dead hands.
P.S I'm really a very good driver. Even fellas have told me so. Don't panic if you see me behind a wheel. Not yet, anyway :)

Rev. Paul said...

ROFL!

Teresa said...

So they've been out to my town... heh.

Rev. Paul said...

I dunno, Teresa - sounds pretty generic to me. :)