I had one job for today: Swap doorknobs from master bathroom (on-suite) to Older Daughter's bedroom so that she can have a locking knob. Previous owners had placed a closet knob on that door, which of course doesn't lock.
Procedure:
a. Remove our knob and go down the hall to her room.
b. Remove her doorknob and install ours in its place.
c. Go back to our room. Reinstall her doorknob on our bathroom door, only to discover that - somewhere in the process - a piece had disappeared. The loss of said piece, the collar which grips the square shaft, prevents the inside knob from turning the latch, thereby neatly trapping the occupant (either me or my wife, usually me) in the bathroom.
d. Grab a flashlight and turn the master bathroom, hallway and her room upside down. The missing piece apparently fell into a black hole, nevermore to be seen again. Or perhaps it was a temporal rift, from whence the little piece of stamped metal will reappear a few years from now.
e. Go to WalMart and buy a replacement knob ($12).
f. Bring it home and begin replacement. Discover that the new knob is different from our existing hardware, and would require inletting on the solid wood bathroom door. I wasn't in the mood for it today, so ...
g. Go to different store, farther away, and buy another knob ($16).
h. Bring home & install.
b. Remove her doorknob and install ours in its place.
c. Go back to our room. Reinstall her doorknob on our bathroom door, only to discover that - somewhere in the process - a piece had disappeared. The loss of said piece, the collar which grips the square shaft, prevents the inside knob from turning the latch, thereby neatly trapping the occupant (either me or my wife, usually me) in the bathroom.
d. Grab a flashlight and turn the master bathroom, hallway and her room upside down. The missing piece apparently fell into a black hole, nevermore to be seen again. Or perhaps it was a temporal rift, from whence the little piece of stamped metal will reappear a few years from now.
e. Go to WalMart and buy a replacement knob ($12).
f. Bring it home and begin replacement. Discover that the new knob is different from our existing hardware, and would require inletting on the solid wood bathroom door. I wasn't in the mood for it today, so ...
g. Go to different store, farther away, and buy another knob ($16).
h. Bring home & install.
Actual elapsed time to swab two doorknobs: 2 hours.
13 comments:
When I shooed Murph out of here last week I didn't know he'd head up your way!
I've had waaay too many "15 minute" jobs take me several hours lately, so while I sympathize, misery sure does love company.....
So you must have pissed of someone this week, and its only Wednesday
Murphy was an optimist.
I’m quite familiar with Murphy and his effects, jim. Don’t like it any more than you do. But it’s not your fault that he came here. 😊
I don’t think so, Rob, but I suppose it’s possible.
WSF, so I’ve been told.
Stupid Murphy and his stupid law. I am well familiar with this. It strikes for almost any repair project...
I know, TB. I almost let myself effect a "fix" with duct tape, just to avoid the trip to the store(s). Almost.
^^^I'm not an eternal optimist by any means :)
-- but, I'm betting by now you are pleased knowing you fixed it right. They delay happened for a reason. You may have touched someone's life without realizing it.
-- THE delay.....not "they". Sorry bout that.
David, it is pleasing to have fixed it correctly; the tape would have been a "when is it going to fail?" situation, at best. And yes, this tale is sure to involve a few others. :)
So you skipped the part where the partially finished door project swings shut and locks behind you with all your tools on the other side of the door so you have to scream out your window until a passer by hears you and climbs up a ladder to rescue you?
Oh, wait. That was my daughter...
If it makes you feel any better, that did happen to me once at our old place. I was working in a closet where the door knob only turned on one side and it got closed behind me. Fortunately, there was a light inside the closet, and I was able to remove the door knob with the multi tool hanging on my belt. But the first few seconds were uncomfortable.
So you have a spare doorknob when you need a new door...
😉
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