1.
She
was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful
eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times
before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the
little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet
paper good-bye!" I'll probably never put lipstick on again
without thinking about kissing the toilet paper
good-bye.
2.
My young grandson called the other day to wish me happy
birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My
grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you
start at 1?"
3.
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed
into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
hair. As she heard the children getting more and more
rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel
around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back
to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who
was THAT?"
4.
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
woods." The
little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said,
"I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5.
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and
I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both real old," he
replied.
6.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's
word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's
it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she
replied. "I can't read."
7.
I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so
I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what
color it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct. It
was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the
door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try figuring out some
of this stuff for yourself!"
8.
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting
pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing
them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. Now
the mosquitoes are coming after us with
flashlights."
9.
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised.
"Mine says I'm 4 to
6."
10..
A second grader came home from school and said to her
grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies
today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to
keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said, warily. "How do
you make babies?" "It's
easy," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es'."
11.
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," instructed the
teacher during a lesson. One small boy wrote: "The fireman came
down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to
correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked. "Sure,"
said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a
child."
12.
A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one
day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of
the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The
children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They
use him to keep crowds back," offered one child.
"No,"
said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought
the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly,
"to find the fire hydrants."
13.
A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said,
"she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get
her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to
the airport."
14.
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things,
but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as
him!
15.
My Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas
leaks, and they blame their dog.
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4 comments:
Out of the mouths of babes.....
Great ones!
Exactly so, my friend.
Thank you!
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