Thoughts on Growing Older

"To get back to my youth I would do anything in the world, except exercise, get up early, or be respectable." - Oscar Wilde

"The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for." - Will Rogers

"We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary." - C.S. Lewis

"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci “

"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane

"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it." - Golda Meir

"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued." - Bill Dane

"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain

"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself." - Tom Wilson

"Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your retirement home."- Phyllis Diller

"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet." - Rita Rudner

"Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up." - John Wagner

"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg

“Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.” - Kitty O’Neill Collins

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.” – Robert Orben

"Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you." - Ogden Nash

"It’s important to have a twinkle in your wrinkle." – Unknown

"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns

“I have successfully completed the thirty-year transition from wanting to stay up late to just wanting to go to bed." – Unknown

"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton

"The years between 50 and 70 are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down." - T.S. Elliot

"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell

"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labeled senile." - George Burns

"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault

"The important thing to remember is that I’m probably going to forget." – Unknown

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” – Lee Trevino

"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead." - John Mendoza

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin

"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer

"All men are the same age." - Dorothy Parker

"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast." – Anonymous

“By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” - George Burns

“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth." - Conan O’Brien

"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein

"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie

"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain

"You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks." - Joel Plaskett

"There’s one advantage to being 102: there’s no peer pressure." - Dennis Wolfberg

"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings

"At my age ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for." – Unknown

"Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read." – George Burns

"The idea is to die young as late as possible." - Ashley Montagu

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns

"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous