Perks of Getting Older

1. Kidnappers are not interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run ... anywhere!

4. People call at 9 pm asking, 'Did I wake you?'

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is very little left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

9. You can live without “IT”, but not without your glasses..

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

17. Your secrets are safe because your friends can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You notice these are all in big print for your convenience.