These are real questions we've been asked by tourists.
The answers are what we were tempted to say, but didn't. Okay, sometimes
we did. :)
Q. Will we see polar bears?
A. Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q. Do you know my cousin Bob in Fairbanks?
A. Sure. Everyone in Alaska knows everyone else.
Q. Do you know Sarah Palin? OR
Have you met Sarah Palin? OR
Do you know where Sarah Palin lives?
A. Of course, doesn't/hasn't everyone?
Q. I didn't expect you to have sidewalks.
A. We have paved streets and indoor plumbing, too. Mostly.
Q. Do you take American money?
A. How do you think we got the sidewalks and paved streets?
Q. Do you speak English?
A. Impeccably. Do you?
Q. What kind of clothes do you wear in the winter?
A. The warm kind.
Q. What do you do about those long, dark nights?
A. Turn on the lights.
Q. We saw that lovely little town of Nightmute in the movie "Insomnia." How long does it take to drive there?
A. You can't drive to Nightmute; access is by airplane only. Besides, the town in the movie was really in British Columbia.
Q. But they said it was Alaska!
A. I'm sure Al Pacino is very sorry.
Q. How can we see the northern lights?
A. Be here in the winter, and remember to look up.
Q. Do I need an international voltage converter?
A. That depends - which country are you headed for?
Q. Which way is north in Alaska?
A. Same way as everywhere else.
Q. We want to drive from Anchorage to Juneau.
A. It's over 600 miles away, by sea.
Q. But how long would it take to drive there?
A. Did your parents have any children that lived?
Q. Where do you get all this wonderful daylight?
A. Sunlight 'R' Us; ask for the bulk rate. And tell them Nanook sent you.
Q. Will we see polar bears?
A. Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q. Do you know my cousin Bob in Fairbanks?
A. Sure. Everyone in Alaska knows everyone else.
Q. Do you know Sarah Palin? OR
Have you met Sarah Palin? OR
Do you know where Sarah Palin lives?
A. Of course, doesn't/hasn't everyone?
Q. I didn't expect you to have sidewalks.
A. We have paved streets and indoor plumbing, too. Mostly.
Q. Do you take American money?
A. How do you think we got the sidewalks and paved streets?
Q. Do you speak English?
A. Impeccably. Do you?
Q. What kind of clothes do you wear in the winter?
A. The warm kind.
Q. What do you do about those long, dark nights?
A. Turn on the lights.
Q. We saw that lovely little town of Nightmute in the movie "Insomnia." How long does it take to drive there?
A. You can't drive to Nightmute; access is by airplane only. Besides, the town in the movie was really in British Columbia.
Q. But they said it was Alaska!
A. I'm sure Al Pacino is very sorry.
Q. How can we see the northern lights?
A. Be here in the winter, and remember to look up.
Q. Do I need an international voltage converter?
A. That depends - which country are you headed for?
Q. Which way is north in Alaska?
A. Same way as everywhere else.
Q. We want to drive from Anchorage to Juneau.
A. It's over 600 miles away, by sea.
Q. But how long would it take to drive there?
A. Did your parents have any children that lived?
Q. Where do you get all this wonderful daylight?
A. Sunlight 'R' Us; ask for the bulk rate. And tell them Nanook sent you.
6 comments:
My favorite is the Juneau one...
Love these....just love them!
My favorite of all time was when I was asked about the fire hydrant markers, "What are they for?" They are there so the plows and firemen know where the hydrants are during the winter. "No, really, what are they for?"
PH & threecollie - glad you liked 'em. :)
JFM: I'm not surprised. None of my visitors from the U.S. have guessed what the big overhead arms are for over the road in Portage Valley, etc.
LOL, oh yeah... :-)
I'm certain Al Pacino is sorry about many things...
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