19 September 2013

Police Blotter: Dancing in Traffic, Shaving on a Roof

Harassment – A woman reported being followed in the bar by another woman who, when confronted, brandished some bear spray in a challenging manner. Investigating officers found no witnesses to the event but were able to verify the existence of prior problems between the two women. 
Aren't we a bunch of little thumb-suckers? "Look out - she's got a spray can!"

Animal – Mother reported having to walk her child around a scrawny fox standing in a mud puddle, and expressed concern about the fox lurking near the day care entrance. An officer was unable to locate the skulking beast.

Drunk Disturbance – Officers responded to a bunkhouse, where an inebriate had passed out. After a lengthy, garbled conversation with the drunk, officers were able to determine the name of the man’s boat. The drunk was eventually turned over to his captain.
I'm not seeing the problem here. If the drunk is "sleeping it off", isn't that the best of all possible scenarios?

Noise Disturbance – Caller reported unsupervised children running amok in the apartment above her. Officers found a harried husband trying to maintain order amongst four young children. The husband apologized for the noise.

Suspicious Person/Activity – An inebriated man darted in front of a patrol car while waving and performing a jig, then sprinted away from the officer for a short distance before sitting on the curb and waiting for the officer. The inebriate was able to tell the officer only that he was having an off day and was eventually turned over to a group of sober friends who happened to pass by.

An off day? Sounds like a couple of legislators I know about ... Oops, did I write that out loud?

Suspicious Person/Activity – A man who two nights earlier had been dancing in front of a patrol car was reported to be shaving on the roof of a business. After conversing briefly with the man the responding officer requested an ambulance and a mental health evaluation.
I'm thinking they should have requested the evaluation when he was playing in traffic, but I guess that's just me ...

Harassment – Woman reported that a former friend with whom she had a falling out a year ago recently said hello to her in a sarcastic manner. The woman told the former friend’s husband she did not wish to be contacted by her former friend.  The former friend honored this request, but the woman wished to have the alleged harassment documented just in case.
Don't say "hello", and - above all - don't say it sarcastically! See my earlier comment about thumb-sucking.  ... sigh ... 

Liquor Law Violation – Officer advised two men they were too intoxicated to remain on any licensed premise this night. The men left the area after first proffering an array of taunts and insults.


Well Seasoned Fool said...

For all their challenges, at least they don't have skier tourists.

Rev. Paul said...

Nope, those come to Anchorage & Girdwood.

irontomflint said...

"... Oops, did I write that out loud?"

Hahahahaha! That was priceless!

Rev. Paul said...

Glad you liked it, sir. :)