Police Blotter: "I Hit Him Because He Made Me Cry"

Noise Disturbance – Officers responded to a noise disturbance at a Unisea bunkhouse. The loud, drunken woman who made the complaint was unable to identify who had been disturbing her sleep.

Suspicious Person/Activity – A man reported being threatened by another man, of whom he was able to provide only a vague description. He asked that officers locate the nondescript suspect and talk to him. Officers were surprisingly unable to positively identify the unremarkable man in question.

Fire Safety – Fire personnel responded to the apartment of a woman who reported that her smoke alarm was beeping incessantly.

Assistance Rendered – An officer helped a homeowner change the batteries in her smoke alarm, so the incessant beeping would stop. The Fire Chief returned to the homeowner’s residence a few minutes later and helped her change the batteries in her other smoke alarm, so that it too would quit beeping.

Alarms – Fire personnel responded to the apartment of a woman who reported that her smoke alarm was beeping incessantly.

Fire Response – Fire personnel responded to a residence regarding a report of a petroleum product smell emanating from someplace nearby. The smell was determined to be from recently laid asphalt.

Assistance Rendered – Officers assisted fire personnel with a search for the source of a petrochemical odor. They found it.

Harassment – Caller reported having been harassed at, threatened at and fired from his previous place of employment, in October of last year. Officers determined that the man had been fired after being caught on video surveillance smoking crack cocaine and allowing non-employees to utilize company sleeping quarters, and that the man had never reported any harassment to his then-supervisors.

Assault – Skipper [name withheld], 44 yoa, of Hawaii, was arrested on one count of Assault IV after he punched another man in the face several times. [The skipper] told officer the victim had made him cry.

A Blast From the Past

Unalaska Police Blotter: "Never mind."

Welfare Check
Officers responded three times to a residence where an intoxicated occupant repeatedly called the police for assistance with unspecified problems, and then insisted that they leave once they arrived on scene. No criminal activity was observed.

Theft
An intoxicated caller reported a possible theft. The caller was unable to articulate why she thought there was a theft and hung up the phone.

Assistance Rendered
Caller reported being attacked by swooping eagles. She was afraid to move for fear of injury. Officers responded to assist. As the officers arrived, the sun set. The eagles seemed to lose interest in the caller once it was dark.  She was able to continue walking down the hill unmolested by her feathered attackers.

Sportfishing
Caller reported individuals “dip-netting” in the “Church Hole.” Officers responded and found that two German tourists were filming the salmon underwater using GoPros on a pole.

Traffic/Roads
Officers investigated a possible oversized trailer. The trailer was under water when an officer arrived on scene and its dimensions could not be immediately ascertained.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officer investigated some blinking lights on a piece of heavy equipment. Nothing was found to be amiss.

Animals
Caller reported that someone was feeding the eagles causing a hazard as one of the eagles had flown into her truck. Officers investigated and discovered that the eagles were not being fed but were congregating, as eagles are known to do.

Ambulance Request 

EMS personnel provided care and transport for a man who had been struck in the back with a 35-kg block of frozen fish.

Animal 

Barking dog complaint. An officer responded to the residence at which the barking dogs allegedly live, and found the two dogs there were the only dogs in the neighborhood that were not barking.

Assistance Rendered 

An officer responded to the PCR regarding a report of smoke emanating from the building.  The officer determined that the smoke was coming from a chimney in the Burma Road Chapel.

Assistance Rendered 

An officer responded to the PCR regarding a report of smoke emanating from the building.  The officer again determined that the smoke was coming from a chimney in the Burma Road Chapel.

Animal 

Two police officers and the ACO chased a small vulpine dog that was frolicking in traffic, from East Broadway to Dutton to Jack London Drive, where it eventually fled to the confines of its own home.  The owner was cited. 

Suspicious Person/Activity 

Drunken caller in Florida reported that her husband, in Unalaska, had threatened to kill her. She reported as well that her husband had tried to hit her 19 years earlier, but had instead hit their daughter.  An officer asked the woman to phone with more information when she is sober.

For those among you who haven't seen this info before: 

Small Town's Police Blotter Is A Riot

In one Alaskan fishing village, crime is a laughing matter. It's not the crimes that have residents chuckling so much as how they're written about. The Unalaska crime report is full of eagle aggression and intimate encounters gone awry in the Aleutian Islands.

Sgt. Shockley, Dutch Harbor Police Dept.

When Sgt. Jennifer Shockley (now the Deputy Chief) heads out on patrol each day, she's got the police blotter on her mind. Her goal is to paint a detailed picture of the town's often ridiculous crimes.

"I can only imagine that someone who's never been here would think that this is some kind of Twilight Zone town where every form of human oddity and absurdity exists all at once — exacerbated by alcohol," she says."

The Police Blotter is Back, But the Humor is Gone

As long-time readers will know, the Unalaska Police Blotter was a favorite read because of the wry interpretation given it by the Sergeant, now Deputy Chief, who relayed it.

They started publishing it again, earlier this year. But the particular slant is gone.

Here's an example of the old blotter: 

Domestic Disturbance -- Officers responded to another household of dipsomaniacs, wherein one drunken male landlord was upset about the way his inebriated female tenant kept the common areas of the house. The two residents and the woman's guest continued to yell at one another from behind closed doors but indicated that their dispute was no more than verbal.

And here's the current version, for comparison:

Drunk Disturbance--Local worker reported that he was being harassed by an intoxicated coworker.  Complainant stated that he had already reported an incident to his employer but they have not done anything to resolve it.  Officers advised suspect not to have contact with complainant or he could be charged with harassment.

In short, the spin - and the fun - is gone.

But can we find the original spin, if we look hard enough? Well, sort of:

Suspicious Person/Activity — A Patrol Sergeant observed a vehicle with several white exterior lights illuminated.  A security check in the area of the vehicle observed no people, but instead a stealthy rat scampered in the direction of a garbage-filled dumpster.

The rat apparently had no lights, illuminated or otherwise.

Unfortunately, a perusal of the next several months' blotters revealed no further humor. No references to sots, dipsomaniacs, nor humorously confused individuals were found.

It seems that the Blotter, once a source of rich amusement and wry social commentary, is no more. 

Police Blotter: Looking For Drinking Buddies

Animal
The Animal Control Officer found a dog at large and chased it around for a bit. The dog was eventually corralled by its owner who had been looking for it.

Assistance Rendered
Officers assisted in removing a drunken individual from a residence where he was no longer welcome.

Harassment
Caller reported receiving harassing phone calls. He provided suspect information but was unable to provide specific reasons for his suspicions. Investigation continues.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Caller reported an intoxicated person beating on their door. Officers responded and contacted the suspect leaving the area. The highly intoxicated individual stated he was looking for people to drink with and left after being advised the occupants of the residence did not want to drink tonight.

Assistance Rendered
Officers responded to assist with an EMS call. The caller had received a serious cut to his neck, directly below his chin. Due to his level of intoxication, he had no recollection of how the injury was sustained. Investigation revealed that the likely cause of the injury was an impact from falling over/passing out.

Assault
Officers responded to a report of an assault. Individual number one accused individual number two of punching him in the face for no reason. Individual number two stated he punched individual number one in response to aggressive actions. Investigation continues.

Assistance Rendered
Officers contacted a clearly emotional person crying on a bench. The individual told the officers that life was dealing him some difficulties but made no indication he was not able to appropriately handle them.

Traffic Crime
Caller reported an erratic driver. Officers contacted the driver and discovered the driver was an inexperienced driver with an Instructional Permit who was learning to drive.

Police Blotter: Convenient Sidewalks

Domestic Disturbance
Officers responded to a residence from which a hang-up call, with yelling in the background, had been received. A man and his mother-in-law were arguing loudly but there was no indication that any physical violence had ensued. The man opted to leave for the remainder of the day.

DUI
[A man], 42 yoa, of Unalaska, was arrested for Driving under the Influence after an officer observed him utilizing the entire roadway for his driving endeavors. He told the arresting officer that he had simply gone out to get more beer.

Welfare Check
Officer contacted several inebriated men outside the Harbor View Bar, one of whom appeared to be sleeping. The men were not in need of assistance and said they planned to stay in a hotel for the night.

Traffic Roads
A driver who parked and left his vehicle squarely in the middle of an intersection, prohibiting access through and beyond said location, was issued a citation.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Caller reported a suspicious-looking van parked in a parking lot. An officer responded and found a man employed by UAF, working on equipment designed to track tectonic plate movements.

Public Safety
Caller reported two men walking in the roadway on the South Channel Bridge, creating a hazardous situation for both themselves and passing motorists. An officer contacted the men and suggested they use the sidewalk, which it turns out is conveniently located next to the roadway.

Traffic Crime
Officers received an anonymous complaint of a vehicle speeding. Officers were able to locate the vehicle and driver in question. The driver was apologetic and said he was in a rush home to start hot tubbing.

Assault
Complainant reported being beat up at the Harborview Bar. Officers responded and conducted an investigation. Investigation revealed the complainant had been asked to leave the bar because he was unruly, argumentative and hostile to bar personnel. Once outside the complainant pushed and punched at another patron who struck the complainant once in the head.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Caller reported someone shooting pellet guns at a local park. Officers responded and located several juveniles shooting at cans with pellet guns. Officers advised the juveniles that they could not discharge pellet guns within City limits and to consider gun safety courses.

Police Blotter: There's Nothing To Be Done

Criminal Mischief
Caller reported a man with a bat screaming at her neighbor. Investigation revealed the person with the bat was looking for another person whom had just thrown a bottle through his window. The suspect subsequently called and apologized and agreed to pay for the window. None involved wished to pursue charges.

Traffic/Roads
Officer came upon a vehicle stuck in a ditch. The vehicle driver’s attempts to extricate the vehicle were in vain. Arrangements were made for assistance in the ongoing efforts. The vehicle was eventually freed from its bondage.

Civil
Caller wanted to pursue charges against her boyfriend for getting fired before he could repay the money he owed her. The caller was advised the matter was not criminal in nature.

Assistance Rendered
Caller expressed frustration at the truthfulness of a family member in regards to a current criminal case. The caller further wanted the family member barred from attending a funeral. After listening to the caller vent, it was explained that much of what the caller requested could not be enforced by the officers.

Assistance Rendered
Caller expressed her concern that several individuals that are expected to attend a funeral are under conditions of release to not have contact with each other.

Assault
Dipsomaniacal caller reported being assaulted. The caller provided numerous accounts of an alleged assault. Each account stretched the bounds of believability. None of the accounts were supported by physical, testimonial, or empirical evidence.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Caller reported that an individual had been living under the South Channel Bridge and that he heard the individual had been seen with a rifle. Officers investigated and found little to support that anyone was living under the bridge or that the mystery person was seen with a rifle.

Police Blotter: Furious Femmes & a Movable Fight

Assault
Officers responded to an alleged knife fight at a local hotel and found that one man had pulled out a still-closed folding knife after another man aggressively ran at him in a hallway, made threatening remarks and held his fists as if ready to fight. The assailant was identified and provided a similar version of events, but the victim chose not to pursue charges.

Assault
Different officers investigating a fight at the same hotel found that it had been preceded by another brawl in the upstairs lobby, this one involving five people, one of whom was the aforementioned assailant. Three of those involved were ultimately told to leave the facility. No charges were filed.

Trespass
Two intoxicated men who had been involved in multiple fights at the hotel were issued trespass advisements, per management. The inebriates left after spending a considerable amount of time trying to justify why they should be allowed to remain.

Trespass
Officers contacted two men, one of whom had been evicted from a hotel, inside the airport. The men were advised they were not allowed to remain in the building but could use the seating outside the terminal. After another lengthy diatribe, the men complied with the officers' request.

Trespass
A third man who had been involved in a fight at the hotel but who had fled prior to officers' arrival was discovered at the hotel. He too was issued a trespass advisement, per management.

Environmental
Vehicle owner reported his vehicle had been vandalized, but upon closer inspection he and the responding officer determined that the damage to his truck was caused by high winds whipping the bed liner from his pickup and slamming numerous items against the windows and hood before depositing them in the parking lot and the harbor.

MVA Damage
A woman backed into her neighbor's parked vehicle, sparking a violent confrontation between the two furious femmes. Damage to the two vehicles was negligible and the only injuries were those caused when the two irate women began pummeling one another.

Unalaska Police Blotter: Harrassed by a State Trooper

Traffic Crime

Driver reported being nearly rear-ended by another driver near Car Quest. Officers located the suspect driver, who admitted that his view was partially blocked as he backed out of the Car Quest area but denied having been driving recklessly.

Domestic Disturbance

[A man], 48 yoa, was arrested on one count of Assault IV-DV following an investigation into a disturbance at Unisea. The victim and several witnesses provided information indicating that [he] had yelled at, shoved, grabbed, and scratched his girlfriend.

Public Safety

Goals at a local playing field were blown to the end of a field and against a tall fence. Caller expressed concern about the wind lifting the goals over the fence and into nearby houses.

Protective Custody

Alcohol - Officers found in the cab of a pickup a wet, muddy man who was unsure what month it is, did not know where he lived, and was unable to stand up without assistance.

Assault

Officers responded to a fight in progress in a taxi outside the Amaknak Fire Station. According to the driver a passenger, who had allowed another to ride in the taxi with him, had fled after the man to whom he showed such kindness began to fight with him. The victim, whom the taxi driver believed was uninjured, was not located. The alleged assailant was released.

Harrassment

Caller reported feeling harassed because an Alaska State Trooper had given him a ticket at his residence, and had then pulled him over and was standing next to the caller's car window. Caller then said he had other things to do and didn't have time to deal with this.

Tuesday Police Blotter: The Eagles Have Landed

Drunk Disturbance – An exceedingly intoxicated and obnoxious man ate food belonging to an inebriated restaurant patron and his sidekick, and challenged those present to do something about his behavior. None of those so affected wished to pursue charges against the drunk and he was advised simply not to return to any licensed establishments this night.

Drunk Disturbance – A drunk who was returning to his hotel room after having been barred from all liquor establishments had such difficulty walking up the stairs that officers were called to assist. The drunk, who was ultimately evicted from the hotel and all other Unisea venues, was unappreciative of the efforts to help him.

Trespass – Officer issued a trespass advisement to a drunk, per the Airport Restaurant.

Assault – The drunk returned to the Airport and proceeded to engage in a fight with one of the inebriated men whose food he had stolen earlier, hitting the inebriate on the side of the head and making snide comments about his parentage. The drunk was able to provide the investigating officer with only a two-word response when asked what had occurred. [The man], 46 yoa, of California, was arrested on one count Assault IV and one count Harassment II.

Drunk Disturbance – The aforementioned inebriate and his equally intoxicated sidekick continued on their way to a grocery store, where they proceeded to yell at various employees. None of those so affected wished to pursue charges. The inebriate was advised not to enter or remain on any licensed premises this night.

Drunk Disturbance – The inebriate and his trusty sidekick went directly to a licensed premise, where the inebriate was refused service due to his level of intoxication and immediately became uncooperative with bar staff. [The man], 25 yoa, of Washington, was arrested on one count of Drunken Person on Licensed Premise.


And today's lesson from Dutch Harbor: don't leave fish in your truck!

Unalaska Police Blotter: "Repeated Displays of Machismo"

Assault - Officers investigating an assault determined that [a man], 18 yoa, had grabbed a 6-8” diameter rock and struck another man on the head after the victim allegedly made a snide comment about [the man’s] parentage. [He] was arrested for Assault III.

Harassment – A man called on his sister-in-law’s behalf, explaining that she had received numerous harassing text messages from her nephew’s wife and wanted the communication to cease. An officer called the nephew’s wife and told her to stop.

Assistance Rendered – Woman asked officers to tell her estranged husband to quit interrupting her phone calls to their minor son, who was supposed to move to his mother’s home in Arizona. An officer provided the woman with information on how best to resolve their custody situation.

Disorderly Conduct – An intoxicated man, who believed his roommate was not keeping their stateroom as clean as required by their captain, moved his roommate’s belongings into a common area and then threw a tantrum when he was chastised about his behavior. The captain, who did not wish to fire the inebriate, determined that a time-out was in order and arranged for the inebriate to stay elsewhere for the night.

Traffic Roads – Officer advised three men who were using a fishing buoy to play soccer in the roadway that though flat ground is a rare commodity in this community, the roadway does not constitute a viable option.

Assistance Rendered – Officer stopped a speeding driver and learned she was on her way to help an intoxicated friend who had cut himself while preparing food. She was unclear about the extent of the man’s injuries. The officer responded to the residence and found that the inebriated and impolite man had already bandaged his wounded digit. The inebriate used language that made it quite clear that the officer was most unwelcome at his residence.

Fire Safety – Caller reported yellow fluid leaking from a bulk liquids trailer. Fire Officers contacted a responsible party and learned that the fluid was simply fish oil. The responsible party agreed to clean the accumulated fluid.

Suspicious Person/Activity – Business owner requested police assistance with a customer who believed he had purchased a faulty product and whose behavior was disruptive. The customer left after an officer provided him with information about how to properly activate his new equipment.

Drunk Disturbance – One of several would-be airline passengers who were denied boarding due their level of intoxication became aggressive with airline personnel and was advised not to enter or remain on any licensed premises this night.

Harassment – Driver One complained that Driver Two had stopped in the middle of the roadway and made threatening statements to him. Driver Two claimed that the Driver One and his passengers had cut him off and had then jeered and made rude gestures at him when he yelled at them. Both drivers were advised to behave like responsible adults.

Criminal Mischief – Two drunken crewman who had already been asked to leave the Harbor View Bar due to their inimical behavior returned to their vessel and engaged in repeated displays of machismo, strewing one another’s belongings about a stateroom, punching one another, breaking sunglasses and agreeing to meet on the dock for a duel to settle their differences. Neither man wished to pursue charges against the other. The captain of the vessel agreed to deal with his two model employees in the morning, but was perturbed that neither of them would be spending the night in jail.

Police Blotter: Friday Follies

Assault
The captain of a fishing vessel told police that one of his crew had, against orders, returned both late and inebriated to the vessel. The crewman had, after being told several times that he was an idiot for having done so and an idiot for then arguing about it, punched his captain in the neck. The captain did not wish to pursue charges but asked for help getting the angry inebriate off the vessel.

Traffic
Complaint about small humans riding small motorbikes on Steward Road. Officers this time found and identified the miscreants, and spoke with both the small humans and their parents about the laws regarding motorbike use.

Liquor Law Violation
Officer advised an extremely intoxicated man he was not allowed to enter any bars or liquor stores this night. The inebriate, after having uttered quite a few vulgarities, was led away by two much more sober and polite companions.

Assault
A most inebriated [man], 31 yoa, became increasingly combative after he was asked by staff to leave the bar due to his decidedly unpleasant demeanor, and attempted to fight with several security officers and a responding police officer. [He] was ultimately restrained and arrested on three counts of Assault IV.

Traffic Crime
Complaint about small humans zipping about on small motorbikes. Officers attempted to trap the miscreants on Steward Road but discovered alas that they were nowhere to be found.

Theft
Witnesses and video surveillance identified a man who had stolen a bar patron’s jacket and cell phone moments after the victim left the items unattended on a bar stool. The suspect, when located, denied all wrongdoing. [The man], 47 yoa, was charged with one count of Theft III.

Assistance Rendered
A driver crossing the end of the runway found herself mere feet underneath a landing Ace Cargo plane, and was quite upset that the runway gates and crossing lights had not been activated prior to the plane’s landing. Information passed on to DOT.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officers responding to a report of a man wandering about a residence, banging on doors and windows, found a cold, wet and befuddled inebriate who had been dropped off at the wrong location and was looking for help getting home. Taxis being unavailable, an officer provided him with transport.

Police Blotter Classics

Liquor Law Violation
A highly intoxicated [male], 23 yoa, was arrested for Drunken Person on Licensed Premise after he returned only moments after being advised he was not allowed to do so.

Public Safety
Caller reported two men walking in the roadway on the South Channel Bridge, creating a hazardous situation for both themselves and passing motorists. An officer contacted the men and suggested they use the sidewalk conveniently located next to the roadway.

Assault
An inebriated woman who was refused service due to her level of intoxication threw water on the doorman and then repeatedly attempted to strike him while lacing her vituperative remarks with derogatory racial epithets. [She] was arrested on charges of Disorderly Conduct and Assault IV.

Assault
Officers investigated a report that a man had been injured in an altercation, and found that the injured man had provoked the argument by taunting and then striking a man much larger than himself. A single blow from his would-be victim ended the argument. [He was] charged with Assault IV.

PC Alcohol
An extraordinarily intoxicated man who was unable to stand or walk without assistance was taken into protective custody after he told officers he thought he was in California and did not know how he got there.

Public Safety
Officer advised an intoxicated man who had swayed from a bar to his car that he should not drive and would be arrested if he did so. The inebriate complained about being treated unfairly.

Suspicious Person/Liquor Law Violation
Officers responded to a report that a group of men were damaging a small trailer and discovered that one young man, having had an unpleasant phone call with his girlfriend, had “accidentally” punched the trailer. Damage to the trailer was minor. One young man was cited for Minor in Possession after officers discovered that the intoxicated man who had punched the trailer was underage.

Drunk Disturbance
Caller reported three drunks stumbling, shouting and urinating in, on and about Airport Beach Road. An officer located the drunks and advised them of the various safety problems and legal issues associated with their behavior. 

Public Safety
Caller reported an intoxicated male at the Unalaska Visitor Center. Officers responded and contacted the subject who said he was trying to purchase an Alaska flag. Officer advised the subject to go home and return when he sobers up. Subject complied.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officers responded to faint cries for help at the CEM dock. Upon arrival Officers observed an individual in the water, under the dock, sitting on a float. Officers were able to extricate the subject who was later determined to be inebriated. The subject said he wanted to go for a swim, jumped in off the dock and somehow ended up under the dock. Ambulance responded and subject signed a refusal form.

Suspicious Person/Activity
An itinerant told police that the sounds of sex in the parking lot in which he was sleeping had kept him awake for at least five hours. When he tried to locate the source of the sounds, disembodied voices began calling him a pervert and threatening to kill him, all of which he believed was in reference to the pornography he had earlier viewed on the library computer. The itinerant later advised an officer that he thought the voices were probably just in his head, and that he planned to attend Bible study in the morning.

Police Blotter: Friday Follies

Noise Disturbance
More than a dozen visitors in a room at Unisea Central refused Unisea Security's request to keep their noise down. Officers responded to the area and issued trespass advisements to the 15 raucous subjects.

Criminal Mischief
A woman found that the inside of her vehicle had been sprayed with some type of mildly acidic substance which caused significant skin, mucous and eye irritation. One suspect was tentatively identified. Under investigation.

Drunk Disturbance
A dipsomaniac reported that another man had threatened him with an aggressive stance. Officers advised the drunkard to go home for the night.

Criminal Mischief
Caller reported that a neighbor had used his chest freezer as a stool to gain access to a window, and had broken the freezer by turning it on its side. The suspect readily admitted to having used the freezer in just such a manner, and agreed to pay for a new one if in fact the freezer was broken as a result of his actions.

Traffic Crime
Two drivers who did not have an accident did have a minor altercation in the bank when one driver accused the other of nice driving.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officers were called to the Harbor View bar, where a man who claimed to be a federal fugitive recovery operative had been involved in either, depending on which version one listened to, starting or breaking up an altercation. The operative's actions did not rise to the level of impersonation and he was given a trespass advisement, per Unisea Security, for all Unisea hospitality venues.

Trespass
Officer issued another much more specific trespass advisement to the federal fugitive recovery operative, per Unisea Security, after the 14-year Dutch Harbor veteran claimed not to know that Grand Aleutian Hotel was a Unisea facility.

Noise Disturbance
Officers responded to another crowded residence, this one occupied by many strident inebriates. The inebriates were advised to keep their voices down lest they become incarcerates.

Alcohol
Officers responded to a report an individual who was practicing his Kung Fu in the middle of the roadway.  Officers found the individual wallowing in the mud on the side of the roadway. The individual was taken into Protective Custody and released to a sober adult.

Public Safety
Officer contacted an individual who was walking in the middle of the street and who walked into the stopped police car. The individual stated he was engrossed in a phone conversation and didn’t see the fully marked and illuminated police car.

Public Safety
Officer contacted 2 individuals who appeared to be preparing to jump off of the South Channel Bridge into Captain's Bay. The two were advised of the inherent dangers of this activity and decided against tempting fate.

Assistance Rendered
Officers discovered an individual sleeping on the sidewalk. The individual had become tired after a long night of imbibing and decided to take a nap. The inebriate was assisted to his abode.

Police Blotter: More Blasts From the Past

Harassment ~ Resident turned over Nigerian hate mail which indicated he was the target of a contract murderer and demanded money to save his life. The resident reported having received such mail in the past.

At least they gave him advance notice. :)

Welfare Check ~ An intoxicated man phoned police to report he was with another, even more intoxicated man and was worried this second inebriate might fall into the water while trying to step from the dock to his boat. Officers responded and attempted to help the second inebriate onto his boat, only to have him step from dock to air. The hold officers had on him prevented him from going fully into the water. He was eventually loaded onto his vessel and turned over to a sober third party.

Welfare Check ~ Officers responded to a residence from which a 911 hang-up call had been received, and found a motley collection of drunkards who appeared perfectly content with one another's company.

Traffic Crime ~ Officer advised an exceptionally poor driver to continue practicing in an unpopulated area for at least six months before taking her driver's test.

Assault ~ A man reported that while walking down a roadway he had been struck in the chest by another man. The victim did not wish to press charges and just wanted his assailant told that his actions weren't nice.

"Counting coup" makes a comeback?

Drunk Disturbance ~ Officers contacted two intoxicated fisherman who were engaged in a deadly serious game of tug-of-war with a purple tutu, which both of them claimed as their own. Officers suggested they drop both the tutu and the argument, as it hardly seemed worth going to jail over such a flimsy issue.

This also suggests several unanswered questions...

Assistance Rendered ~ An elder phoned to request assistance with her inebriated, belligerent and generally antagonistic son. The son was provided with transport to a hotel for the night, and was strongly dissuaded from choking his mother.

 

Weapons ~ A .22 rifle was found near the cemetery and turned over to police.

 Wrong caliber for zombies.

Liquor Law Violation ~ Acting on a tip from another patron, an officer checked the Harbor View Bar bathroom and found a pair of blue Converse shoes and associated body parts sticking out of a bathroom stall. The drunk to which the shoes were attached eventually stumbled out of the stall and was advised he was not allowed to remain on the premises.

As long as they all left together. :) 

Assistance Rendered ~ Previously convicted assailant reported that since he returned to town, his victim has been giving him the stink-eye. An officer advised the assailant to simply avoid looking at the victim.

 

Found Property ~ A dirty black bag with a Chauffeur's license and numerous business cards. When contacted, the owner of the bag asked that the bag and its contents be destroyed.

 That also leaves all sorts of unanswered questions... 

PC Mental ~ Officers took into custody a severely disturbed man who believed he was already dead and in heaven.

Assistance Rendered ~ Woman reported having been kicked out of her boyfriend's parents' home after the boyfriend's mother caught the two of them naked in bed.

 It makes me wonder: what exactly did she expect the police to do about it?

Blast From The Past: Unalaska Police Blotter

Drunk Disturbance – Three drunken fisherman attempted to crash a private party and, after being told to leave, expressed their displeasure by urinating on the door of the apartment. Odiferous moisture flowing under the door prompted the partiers to more forcefully encourage the gate-crashers to leave, resulting in a broken window and several damaged walls in the common area of the complex.  No injuries were reported and no arrests were made.

Assault – Apartment dweller reported what sounded like a fight in progress in an upstairs unit. A number of Christmas revelers were contacted at the apartment in question, but all denied having been fighting.  They were advised not to party so boisterously.

Welfare Check – Officers checked on a drunk who was stumbling along the roadway, and advised him to continue his trek on the sidewalk so conveniently located next to the road.

Domestic Disturbance – A drunk asked police to tell his mean, dipsomaniac brother to leave the house that the two share. Officers instead told the siblings to sit quietly and watch television together.

Traffic Crime – Caller reported driver travelling on Airport Beach Road without benefit of a driver’s side door. Officers were unable to locate the suspect driver and vehicle.

Assault – [A man], 28 yoa, of Unalaska, was arrested on two counts of Assault IV after he began throwing plates, bowls and other kitchen accoutrements at his family and neighbors, injuring two of them.

Traffic Roads – A driver who mistook a snow-covered sidewalk for a roadway tried to turn off the sidewalk and drove into a ditch. The driver, new to town, apologized profusely for his mistake.

Welfare Check – A drunken woman asked an officer to find her husband, who hadn’t been seen since he left for church. Officers responded to the woman’s residence and found a number of equally inebriated guests, none of whom could provide any coherent information about the husband’s departure.

Domestic Disturbance – Caller reported her neighbors were screaming and their children were running amok. Officers responded and found a couple engaged in a verbal dispute while their children created a ruckus in a neighboring room. The couple was advised to address their problems in a more seemly fashion.

Police Blotter Classics: Obvious Facts are Obvious

Domestic Disturbance
Officers responded to an apartment after a neighbor reported hearing two people argue. Officers determined that two people had been arguing. 

Duh.

Theft
Caller reported that his girlfriend had stolen his cellphone. Officers determined that the cellphone actually belonged to the girlfriend and what the man really wanted was the very important SD card he’d put inside it when he borrowed the phone and which he had subsequently forgotten to remove when he returned it. The man was adamant that he get his SD card back this very night. After waking up numerous members of the girlfriend’s family, the phone was located, the very important SD card was returned and officers made the man very happy.

Domestic Disturbance
Officers who were waking up various friends and family members in order to recover a very important SD card found that [one friend] had violated a long-term protective order. [He] was arrested on one count of Violating Domestic Violence Protective Order. 

Trespass
Officers informed the owner of a very important SD card that he was no longer welcome at his friend’s home, per the former friend. 

 You know what they say about karma

DUI
Caller reported an apparently intoxicated motorcyclist had flagged her down and asked for a ride to the gas station. [The man], 42 yoa, was found by officers a few minutes later, sitting on a motorcycle at the side of the road. He told officers that he just happened to arrive at a place where a motorcycle was already parked. [He] was arrested for Driving under the Influence and Driving without an Operators Permit. The owner of the motorcycle elected not to pursue theft charges.

 "Honest, officers: I thought it was public seating ... or something." 

Assistance Rendered
Officer assisted EMS personnel with a drunken patient and his equally drunken brother.

Assistance Rendered
Shortly after police and EMS personnel had been at his home, the drunken brother told police five strangers had entered his house and then left. The inevitably-besotted sibling told the responding officer that someone had entered his house, told him his father was dead and had then left. The officer suggested the brothers get some rest.

 Absinthe makes the thoughts grow stranger ... or something.

Assault
Officers investigated the assault of and threats made against a young man during the course of a dispute over a woman. Officers determined that [a man] had assaulted a rival on three separate occasions earlier in the day, punching him, throwing him to the ground and threatening to remove certain key body parts. [The man] was later arrested on two counts Assault IV and one count Assault III.

Trespass
Officer issued a trespass advisement to a bar patron who had started eating another patron’s food and had then punched the other patron when he was discovered.

"How dare you discover that I've been eating your fries!"

Flashback: Police Blotter

Since the Unalaska/Dutch Harbor Dept. of Public Safety hasn't started the Blotter back up (yet), here are some goodies from the past.

DUI
An extremely intoxicated woman claimed that a young man was driving drunk, headed towards Standard Oil Hill. Officers quickly found the alleged suspect, who appeared sober and said he had not consumed alcohol since the previous evening. His performance on field sobriety tests supported this claim.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officer advised an inebriate urinating between two cars that restrooms were the facility of choice for said activity.

Assistance Rendered
Local resident got upset when he found a naked man inside his mom’s room. He yelled at the naked man and told him to leave the house. The mother soon returned and asked that her son be made to leave the residence for the evening.  Officers advised that they could not force the son to leave the residence as he lived there and no crime had been committed.

Per a court martial ruling in the early 1970s, when an Air Force crewman had been observed nude, while chasing an equally unclothed female down a hotel hallway: "No service member shall be considered out of uniform while dressed appropriately for the activity in which he is engaged."

Assault
A man whose family had been obscenely disparaged on Facebook came to the police station to report that he had just come from the suspect’s home, where he had punched the suspect several times in the face. The suspect, who exhibited minor facial injuries, did not wish to speak to police about the matter and had no interest in pursuing charges.

MVA Damage
A taxi driver attempting to smoke and drive shortly after waking drove into a small ditch near the Bobby Storrs Small Boat Harbor. Damages were minor and no injuries were reported.

I've heard of people who couldn't walk and chew gum, but this is a new one ...

Suspicious Person/Activity
Drunken brother reported being concerned because his drunken sibling had grabbed five beers and departed their house in a taxi. The responding officer found nothing unusual about this incident.

DUI
An officer stopped a woman dressed as a cat after observing her drive her vehicle in the wrong lane of travel and determined she was been drinking. [The woman], 31 yoa, was arrested for Driving Under the Influence.

Nothing I could add would be as funny as the report. :^)

Classic Police Blotter: Oldies But Goodies

Just because. :)

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officer investigating the source of several odd text messages found that a young man in Anchorage had sent them after being dared to send text messages to random number. The young man was advised not to do so again.

Noise Disturbance
Caller was disturbed by "loud screams of enjoyment" that had been continuing for quite some time. An officer responded to the area in question but did not locate the source of said vocalized pleasures.

Theft
A commercial diver, while raising a sunken vessel, discovered numerous tools that had apparently been stolen from a local business. Under investigation.

Found Property
A red and gray rolling duffle bag, found rolling along the South Channel Bridge with no owner in sight.

Domestic Disturbance
Intoxicated caller phoned to chat with a dispatcher and make disparaging comments about an inebriated woman with whom he was arguing and no longer wished to spend time. Officers contacted the two squabbling drunks, and determined no crime had been committed.

Suspicious Activity
Homeowner reported someone had gone to quite a bit of trouble to shovel a path to his shed and his absent neighbor's home. Nothing had been burglarized, but the homeowner was concerned that the paths might be the first step towards the commission of a crime. It was later discovered that the US Coast Guard had been shoveling snow for the local elders.

DUI
Officers discovered a vehicle had apparently driven straight off the road and on top of a fire hydrant. Evidence and witness statements led the officers to the home of [a man], 41 yoa, of Unalaska. [He]admitted to having been drinking before the accident, and was subsequently arrested for Driving Under the Influence.

Suspicious Person/Activity
An extremely inebriated man walked into a parking lot and started a vehicle therein, before getting out of the vehicle and loitering in the lot. Officers contacted the man, who denied having done any such thing and then agreed to complete his sex offender registration.

A Word About the Unalaska Police Blotter

Unalaska Police Blotter Falls Victim to Staffing Shortages

The highly popular police log published by the Unalaska Department of Public Safety won't be appearing anymore in The Bristol Bay Times-Dutch Harbor Fisherman, or anywhere else. At least not until the shorthanded local police department hires more cops, says Deputy Police Chief Jennifer Shockley.

"Right now, we don't have the time to keep up with it," Shockley said. "At this point in time we need to focus on law enforcement."

The weekly account of local police and fire department activity takes between eight and 10 hours to write, review and publish, she said. With full staffing, that's not a problem, but now the police department is operating with 65 percent of positions filled, she said.

At full staffing, there is one deputy police chief, three sergeants and nine officers. Presently, there's Shockley, the deputy chief and three sergeants, but just four regular police officers — plus one who can't work yet solo because he is still in training.

Unalaska police are now actively recruiting in hopes of finding good candidates to work in law enforcement in the Aleutian Islands community. When more officers are hired and the department is at full strength, the police log may return, she said.

So now you know. 

About the Unalaska Police Blotter ...

I've gotten requests for another installment of the Police Blotter from Unalaska Dept of Public Safety, on Unalaska Island.

 

Sgt. Jennifer Shockley, who used to write the Blotter entries with such a droll sense of humor, was recently promoted to Deputy Chief. I'd guess that her new responsibilities preclude writing about the dipsomaniac brothers, among others. As a result, it seems they're no longer publishing updated entries. The most recent addition was on New Year's Eve in 2016.

 

There's nothing new to report on, folks, so there won't be any more posts about the goings-on out there. Sorry.