Police Blotter: Friday Follies

Noise Disturbance
More than a dozen visitors in a room at Unisea Central refused Unisea Security's request to keep their noise down. Officers responded to the area and issued trespass advisements to the 15 raucous subjects.

Criminal Mischief
A woman found that the inside of her vehicle had been sprayed with some type of mildly acidic substance which caused significant skin, mucous and eye irritation. One suspect was tentatively identified. Under investigation.

Drunk Disturbance
A dipsomaniac reported that another man had threatened him with an aggressive stance. Officers advised the drunkard to go home for the night.

Criminal Mischief
Caller reported that a neighbor had used his chest freezer as a stool to gain access to a window, and had broken the freezer by turning it on its side. The suspect readily admitted to having used the freezer in just such a manner, and agreed to pay for a new one if in fact the freezer was broken as a result of his actions.

Traffic Crime
Two drivers who did not have an accident did have a minor altercation in the bank when one driver accused the other of nice driving.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officers were called to the Harbor View bar, where a man who claimed to be a federal fugitive recovery operative had been involved in either, depending on which version one listened to, starting or breaking up an altercation. The operative's actions did not rise to the level of impersonation and he was given a trespass advisement, per Unisea Security, for all Unisea hospitality venues.

Trespass
Officer issued another much more specific trespass advisement to the federal fugitive recovery operative, per Unisea Security, after the 14-year Dutch Harbor veteran claimed not to know that Grand Aleutian Hotel was a Unisea facility.

Noise Disturbance
Officers responded to another crowded residence, this one occupied by many strident inebriates. The inebriates were advised to keep their voices down lest they become incarcerates.

Alcohol
Officers responded to a report an individual who was practicing his Kung Fu in the middle of the roadway.  Officers found the individual wallowing in the mud on the side of the roadway. The individual was taken into Protective Custody and released to a sober adult.

Public Safety
Officer contacted an individual who was walking in the middle of the street and who walked into the stopped police car. The individual stated he was engrossed in a phone conversation and didn’t see the fully marked and illuminated police car.

Public Safety
Officer contacted 2 individuals who appeared to be preparing to jump off of the South Channel Bridge into Captain's Bay. The two were advised of the inherent dangers of this activity and decided against tempting fate.

Assistance Rendered
Officers discovered an individual sleeping on the sidewalk. The individual had become tired after a long night of imbibing and decided to take a nap. The inebriate was assisted to his abode.