Police Blotter: More Blasts From the Past

Harassment ~ Resident turned over Nigerian hate mail which indicated he was the target of a contract murderer and demanded money to save his life. The resident reported having received such mail in the past.

At least they gave him advance notice. :)

Welfare Check ~ An intoxicated man phoned police to report he was with another, even more intoxicated man and was worried this second inebriate might fall into the water while trying to step from the dock to his boat. Officers responded and attempted to help the second inebriate onto his boat, only to have him step from dock to air. The hold officers had on him prevented him from going fully into the water. He was eventually loaded onto his vessel and turned over to a sober third party.

Welfare Check ~ Officers responded to a residence from which a 911 hang-up call had been received, and found a motley collection of drunkards who appeared perfectly content with one another's company.

Traffic Crime ~ Officer advised an exceptionally poor driver to continue practicing in an unpopulated area for at least six months before taking her driver's test.

Assault ~ A man reported that while walking down a roadway he had been struck in the chest by another man. The victim did not wish to press charges and just wanted his assailant told that his actions weren't nice.

"Counting coup" makes a comeback?

Drunk Disturbance ~ Officers contacted two intoxicated fisherman who were engaged in a deadly serious game of tug-of-war with a purple tutu, which both of them claimed as their own. Officers suggested they drop both the tutu and the argument, as it hardly seemed worth going to jail over such a flimsy issue.

This also suggests several unanswered questions...

Assistance Rendered ~ An elder phoned to request assistance with her inebriated, belligerent and generally antagonistic son. The son was provided with transport to a hotel for the night, and was strongly dissuaded from choking his mother.

 

Weapons ~ A .22 rifle was found near the cemetery and turned over to police.

 Wrong caliber for zombies.

Liquor Law Violation ~ Acting on a tip from another patron, an officer checked the Harbor View Bar bathroom and found a pair of blue Converse shoes and associated body parts sticking out of a bathroom stall. The drunk to which the shoes were attached eventually stumbled out of the stall and was advised he was not allowed to remain on the premises.

As long as they all left together. :) 

Assistance Rendered ~ Previously convicted assailant reported that since he returned to town, his victim has been giving him the stink-eye. An officer advised the assailant to simply avoid looking at the victim.

 

Found Property ~ A dirty black bag with a Chauffeur's license and numerous business cards. When contacted, the owner of the bag asked that the bag and its contents be destroyed.

 That also leaves all sorts of unanswered questions... 

PC Mental ~ Officers took into custody a severely disturbed man who believed he was already dead and in heaven.

Assistance Rendered ~ Woman reported having been kicked out of her boyfriend's parents' home after the boyfriend's mother caught the two of them naked in bed.

 It makes me wonder: what exactly did she expect the police to do about it?