Police Blotter: Friday Follies

Assault
The captain of a fishing vessel told police that one of his crew had, against orders, returned both late and inebriated to the vessel. The crewman had, after being told several times that he was an idiot for having done so and an idiot for then arguing about it, punched his captain in the neck. The captain did not wish to pursue charges but asked for help getting the angry inebriate off the vessel.

Traffic
Complaint about small humans riding small motorbikes on Steward Road. Officers this time found and identified the miscreants, and spoke with both the small humans and their parents about the laws regarding motorbike use.

Liquor Law Violation
Officer advised an extremely intoxicated man he was not allowed to enter any bars or liquor stores this night. The inebriate, after having uttered quite a few vulgarities, was led away by two much more sober and polite companions.

Assault
A most inebriated [man], 31 yoa, became increasingly combative after he was asked by staff to leave the bar due to his decidedly unpleasant demeanor, and attempted to fight with several security officers and a responding police officer. [He] was ultimately restrained and arrested on three counts of Assault IV.

Traffic Crime
Complaint about small humans zipping about on small motorbikes. Officers attempted to trap the miscreants on Steward Road but discovered alas that they were nowhere to be found.

Theft
Witnesses and video surveillance identified a man who had stolen a bar patron’s jacket and cell phone moments after the victim left the items unattended on a bar stool. The suspect, when located, denied all wrongdoing. [The man], 47 yoa, was charged with one count of Theft III.

Assistance Rendered
A driver crossing the end of the runway found herself mere feet underneath a landing Ace Cargo plane, and was quite upset that the runway gates and crossing lights had not been activated prior to the plane’s landing. Information passed on to DOT.

Suspicious Person/Activity
Officers responding to a report of a man wandering about a residence, banging on doors and windows, found a cold, wet and befuddled inebriate who had been dropped off at the wrong location and was looking for help getting home. Taxis being unavailable, an officer provided him with transport.