Traffic Crime – Caller reported an erratic driver. Officers
later determined the poor driving was due to yet another person
attempting to learn to drive.
Suspicious
Person/Activity – An intoxicated landlord called to report that his
tenant had come into his room uninvited and offered to have sex with
him, but had left after he asked her to. An officer advised the drunk to
call police when he had an actual crime to report.
Welfare Check –
Drunken caller reported receiving a text message from a woman who said
she needed help. The woman advised UDPS she was not in need of any
assistance and wished the drunken fool who called police would quit
calling her.
Weapons – A man who came to UDPS to report a crime
entered the facility and failed to inform the officer to whom he was
speaking that he was carrying a loaded handgun. Charges pending.
Suspicious
Person/Activity – Drunken caller reported that his drunken brother was
standing guard at the door to their residence, outside of which someone
was allegedly standing. Officers responded and found no indication
whatsoever that anyone had attempted to enter the home. The drunks were
advised to go to bed.
Assault – Drunken caller reported his
drunken brother just attacked him with a walker. Officers attempted to
obtain more information from the two drunks but learned primarily that
they no longer remembered how much they had had to drink. The drunks
were advised, again, to just get along.
Welfare Check – Caller
reported seeing a shoeless man with what appeared to be vomit dribbling
down his chin wandering aimlessly along the roadway. Officers found an
inebriated man matching this description. The man told officers he had
arrived at his destination by osmosis, but refused to provide any other
information except the name of the place he wished to go. A taxi was
called for him.
10 comments:
We laugh at their misadventures. Sadly, for most people, and the people in their lives, with a drug or alcohol problem, it isn't the least bit funny.
It is called "Demon Rum" for good reason.
I know, my friend. The stories are funny; the reality often is not.
I was gonna make light of this, but after WSF's comment...
He's right, of course.
gfa
True enough, Guffaw.
What's wrong with that landlord? She must have been ugly.
Anything I say in response would be anticlimactic, so ... :)
He could pronounce "osmosis" when that drunk?
The report doesn't say whether he got it on the first try. Heh.
Maybe his name was Moses, and he was saying, "I's Moses!"
I'm here 'til Friday, try the chicken.
gfa
It's entirely possible. Or maybe "I'se moseyin'"...
Naw, I like yours better.
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