Police Blotter: Shoulda Known Better

Assistance Rendered
Caller requested assistance unlocking a house. An officer responded and learned that the caller had a key to the house.

Public Safety
Officer confirmed that an inebriated man in the mud along the roadway was in fact capable of returning himself to his vessel. Several of his comrades agreed that taking a taxi might be a good idea.

MVA Damage
A driver who parked with his standard transmission vehicle still in gear and then got out of the driver’s seat, suddenly found his vehicle driving itself into the Alyeska Trading Store building. Damage to the building was estimated at $5000. No injuries were reported. 

PC Alcohol
Caller reported an intoxicated man lying on a trail near the Alyeska Trading Company, passed out with his genitals exposed. The man claimed to officers that he was the captain of a fishing boat but could not provide much other information. He was taken into protective custody. 

DUI
[A man], 35 yoa, was arrested for Driving under the Influence and Driving while License Suspended/Revoked after officers contacted him regarding a potentially stolen vehicle and discovered he had a revoked license and had been drinking prior to driving his borrowed vehicle. 

Traffic Crime
Caller was upset because she had loaned her vehicle to three of her comrades and nearly an hour later they had not returned. An officer responded to the caller’s residence as the suspect occupants returned, and discovered that the driver not only had no valid license but had also been drinking prior to driving home.  Charges of Permitting Unauthorized Person to Drive pending for caller [the woman], 49 yoa, who was aware that the driver had a revoked license.