Police Blotter: Disturbed

Drunk Disturbance
Officers responded to a bunkhouse wherein a group of noisy, drunken men were helping a noisy, drunken and obnoxious coworker to his room. Officers suggested the inebriates take their revelry to a location where it would be less offensive to others.

Noise Disturbance
Caller reported hearing a fight in progress at a neighboring residence. A wet woman clad only in a bath towel abashedly explained to responding officers that the "fight" they were investigating at her house was simply loud intimate relations.

Assault
A man who was offended by a joke punched the jokester in the face until he fell to the floor, then smacked him a few more times for failing to apologize quickly enough. The other two men in the room claimed they were unaware of the incident. [The assailant], 36 yoa, of Anchorage, was arrested on one count of Assault IV.

Domestic Disturbance
Raging roommate attempted roundhouse punch. [The rowdy roommate], 43 yoa of Tukwila, WA was charged with Assault IV DV. He claimed his roommates were just too religious and angry at him for being drunk.

Drunk Disturbance
A drunken man reported a fight involving multiple other inebriates at the Grand Aleutian Hotel. Officers arrived to find, after wading through testimony from a dozen people, sober and otherwise, that the original caller had in fact instigated most of the problems about which he was complaining.

Domestic Disturbance
Two grown men engaged in a shoving match after an argument about noise levels in the duplex they share. The boys were advised to seek less confrontational methods to resolve their differences.

Assistance Rendered
Officer observed an agitated man haranguing PenAir employees about not being allowed on the most recent departing flight, and advised him that yelling at the employees of the only passenger airline servicing the terminal might make his departure from Dutch Harbor a bit more difficult.