Thursday Humor

Some humor from my friend Tom S.:

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: ‘Nothing.’
Wife: 'Nothing..? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'

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Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well,that's because we aren't married yet.'