24 September 2019

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this, and men should memorize it.

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other.




DANGEROUS

SAFER

VERY SAFE

ULTRA  SAFE

What's for
dinner?

Can I help you
with dinner?

Where would you like
to go for dinner?

Here, have some wine.

Are you
wearing that?

You sure
look good in brown!

WOW! Look at you!

Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about?

Could we be
overreacting?

Here's my paycheck.

Here, have some wine.

Should you be
eating that?

You know, there are
a lot of apples left.

Can I get you a piece
of chocolate with that?

Here, have some wine.

What did you
DO all day?

I hope you didn't
over-do it today.

I've always loved you
in that robe!

Here, have some wine.


13 Things PMS Stands For:

 1.  Pass My Shotgun

2.  Psychotic Mood Shift

3.  Perpetual Munching Spree
 

4.  Puffy Mid-Section

5.  People Make me Sick

6.  Provide Me Sweets

7.  Pardon My Sobbing

8.  Pimples May Surface

9.  Pass My Sweatpants

10.  Pissy Mood Syndrome

11.  Plainly, Men Suck

12.  Pack My Stuff
 

and  my favorite 
one:

13.  
Potential Murder Suspect 

Forward this information to all of your friends and those who might need a good laugh ... and men who need a  warning.
 
Then have some wine.  


h/t Dana 

5 comments:

Old NFO said...

ALL true... sigh

LindaG said...

Haha. :)
I don't drink wine or champagne. Give me a headache. My parents drank beer, but I never picked that up.
Hubby knows a good crawfish dinner (when available) is the way to my heart. :)

Rev. Paul said...

NFO, that surely sounds like the voice of experience. Not that I'm asking.

Linda, whatever works for you is good. Heh.

Well Seasoned Fool said...


What I've learned is men have two faults; everything we say, and everything we do. Since you will be wrong no matter what, do as you please!

My sister says this is why I've never remarried.

Rev. Paul said...

There is a certain logic in what you say.