I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.
I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Personal note - Wednesday morning was a total waste: the power was out, and it had snowed nearly 10 inches overnight. No heat, no hot breakfast, and no coffee. That last one nearly brought the day to a screeching halt. :)
So on with the humor:
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
14 comments:
As far as coffee goes can you use a camping coffee pot on the stove?? or is everything electric?? If our power goes out we can lite the stove top as its gas. As far as the puns..I see said the blind man
Yes, we could have done that. I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t think of it until it was too late.
Laughing is a great way to start the day. Thank you!
Nobody talks to me until I have had my second cup of coffee. You have my sympathy for having to go 'cold turkey.'
I understand the need for “coffee before people.” Even our grown daughters know that Dad isn’t terribly civil before at least one cup.
Glad you survived!
Rob
"to his deaf and dumb wife".
Heh.
Survival was never in doubt, of course. But I can’t say we enjoyed it much. 😉
That's a terrible bad way to start the day... (but you know that...) figured I'd tell you just in case you forgot... LOL (I know, I know... you didn't!!)BUT, at least you can laugh about it! (Now, anyway...)
We have all the survival preps & gear, but my head was too foggy. That’s what I tell myself, anyway. 😁
It's impossible to think of everything.
I understand that cannibals will not eat clowns. They cannibals say the clowns taste funny. :)
Well, that is why "they" say to practice your preps...so ya figure what you are forgetting, or, even just practice what you think you would do.
10 inches!! Keep that up there!! Don't let it drift East please!! Although we had 4-6 the other day, that then turned into rain, so there was a layer of ice about 1/4" thick. Then the wind picked up. We didn't lose power that day, but driving was...interesting shall I say...
My second husband was a coffee addict...he needed a pot before becoming human...except when the fire siren blew--then he functioned pretty well pretty quickly. Lol.
Yep, that’s another classic. 😁
And “they” are right. Woulda coulda shoulda. Re: the coffee, I was functional, but wasn’t enjoying it.
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