BBQ Rules

Received over the transom from the usual mil e-mail sources:

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events are put into motion:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three-meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her "night off ", and upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Gee, I wonder why this never works out..?

I'll Take "Things That Start With Fire" for $500, Alex...

A huge wildfire burning on the Kenai Peninsula has grown to more than 123,000 acres Sunday morning, with 20 percent of the fire contained, officials said.

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The Alaska Interagency Incident Management Team said the Funny River fire was stoked by strong southwesterly winds for much of Saturday. By 11:30 p.m., when the winds died down, the fire was 123,649 acres.

* * * * *

My wife barbequed burgers and a pork loin while I assembled a chest of drawers for the guest room. Lunch was a bit delayed, but well worth it. It was nice to smell smoke that isn't from the forest fire.

It's a quiet day otherwise, here in south Anchorage. I'm okay with that.

Mother's Day Dinner

Barbequed pork tenderloin (Sweet Baby Ray's sauce, of course), quinoa with Mae Ploy Sweet Chili Sauce, and steamed veggies with just a touch of soy sauce, Italian seasoning, olive oil, and salt & pepper.

I'm stuffed.

The Perfect Father's Day

Presents, barbeque and bacon. What's not to like?