30 July 2013

It's That Time Again: Intoxicated But Contrite

Police blotter time, that is:

Assault – Officers responded to a processing plant regarding an alleged assault, and discovered that one man had sprayed another in the face with water, once by accident and then again on purpose when the drenched victim threatened him. The soggy scapegoat decided that an apology in lieu of assault charges would suffice.

Noise Disturbance – Caller reported her neighbors were again making unreasonable noise and were keeping her family from sleeping. Officers responded and confirmed that the noise was unreasonable. The neighbor, against whom multiple noise complaints had been made in the past, was cited for Disorderly Conduct.

Noise Disturbance – Officers responded to another crowded residence, this one occupied by many strident inebriates. The inebriates were advised to keep their voices down lest they become incarcerates.

Assault – Officer responded to a report that a man had been threatened at the Harbor View Bar and found that an intoxicated and now contrite patron had phoned police with this patently false allegation after he was removed from the bar by a bouncer. While the officer talked to the first drunk, his equally inebriated compatriot began praying at the officer’s feet, prompting the officer to advise the devout drunk not to enter any licensed establishments this night.

Assault – Officers responded to another report of an assault at the Harbor View Bar, and found that the inebriates of the previous call had joined forces with additional inebriates; all of them had valiantly attempted to both walk to their rooms and open their doors but they had not entirely succeeded in these endeavors. Unisea Security helped them achieve their goals.

Ambulance Request – EMS personnel provided care and transport for an extremely intoxicated man who had passed out on the ground in front of the Harbor View Bar.

Assistance Rendered – Officers assisting EMS personnel with a patient determined that the unconscious man had been partying with a companion who had left him in the roadway after he passed out.

Disorderly Conduct – An extremely intoxicated man who had been taken to the IFHS clinic regained consciousness and began ripping out IVs and threatening medical staff. David Zidrashko, 37 yoa, of Unalaska, sprayed blood all over the room in which he was being treated and attempted to strike a responding police officer. Zidrashko was arrested on charges of Disorderly Conduct, Assault IV-LEO and Harassment I.

Animal – Caller requested assistance with an injured fox which had been found in the middle of a container yard. The docile, apparently ill or injured fox was collected but died during transport to a less trafficked location.

Liquor Law Violation – Officer contacted a man who had passed out on a toilet at the Harbor View Bar. The man, who upon waking remembered why he had come to the bathroom, finished his business before leaving the bar pursuant to the officer’s advisement that he not enter or remain on a licensed premise this night.

Traffic Crime – Caller reported a speeding taxi. An officer contacted the suspect driver, who admitted to speeding on her clients’ behalf. The driver was warned that late clients do not constitute a legal right to speed.


FrankC said...

Sounds like a pleasant place to live if the main police calls are for drunk numpties.

Rev. Paul said...

FrankC, I suspect Dutch Harbor isn't much at all, other than the place where all the commercial fishing crews go to catch up on their drinking. It sure didn't look like much more than that, last time I saw it.

threecollie said...

Da-yam, that's drinking!

Rev. Paul said...

threecollie, it does seem like they're getting serious about it, doesn't it?