PASTOR: "Praise the
Lord!"
CONGREGATION:
"Hallelujah!"
PASTOR: "Will everyone
please turn on their tablet, notebook, iPad, smart phone, or Kindle Bible to 1st Corinthians
13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."
P-a-u-s-e ...
"Now, Let us pray
committing this week into God's hands. Open your apps, BBM, Twitter and
Facebook, and chat with God."
S-i-l-e-n-c-e ...
"As we take our Sunday
tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready. You can log on to the
church wi-fi using the password 'Lord909887'.
"The ushers will
circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers. Those who prefer to
make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear
of the church. Those who prefer to use
iPads can open them. Those who prefer
telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to
the church account. You may text your offerings to 99885. The automatic reply will contain a link to a direct deposit log-in."
The holy atmosphere of
the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, notebooks, iPads, Fires and
laptops beep and flicker!
Final Blessing and
Closing Announcements...
"This week's ministry
cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual
group chatting takes place. Please log in a few minutes early for special announcements. You don't want to miss out on anything.
"Finally, Thursday's Bible study
will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss this, either. You can follow your
Pastor on Facebook and Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers. God bless you and have
nice day!"
h/t MO Bro
h/t MO Bro
8 comments:
I'm thinking that's closer to the truth than we would like to admit. Makes me long for an old-fashioned tent revival meeting or for the Baptist pastor of my youth, pounding the pulpit, telling us we were all going to hell if we didn't change our ways.
Vicki, that's true: most churches have either watered down, or completely disregarded, the purpose of proclaiming the truth. It's about Jesus, and how He sacrificed Himself to save us. All we have to do is believe that, and allow Him to have us. As the Bible says, "if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)
It's so simple, it takes a theologian to screw it up. :)
And the LORD made a whip out of spyware and viruses and overturned the websites of the moneychangers...
TCA, that's not bad at all. :)
Thanks TCA.....I just spewed the host and the blood out my nose.....
SNBI O - that's what you get for reading blogs in church ... but that's a whole different sermon. ;^)
Five years ago, our church replaced its "prayer chain" with an email distribution group. The families which didn't check email regularly fell out of the loop on announcements, prayer requests and last-minute changes in plans. At that time, everyone seemed to prefer the convenience of electronic contacts instead of phone calls.
The time is coming and may be soon when on-line or electronic contact must replace face-to-face fellowship due to safety or health concerns.
When that happens, church will not be the same.
escAPEe, I hear what you're saying. And I too can foresee a time coming when Christianity is forced to go underground again. May not be all that long before it happens, either.
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