John 12:24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
25 December 2024
23 December 2021
If You Feel Culturally Ostracized, Rejoice!
As American culture tries its hand at celebrating during the holidays, it is no surprise that you just don’t fit in. You do not get stoned, drunk or high on anything. Their way of celebrating holds no place for you. You do not fit.
A social pariah; that is what you are to them.
“We have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries. In regard to these, they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of dissipation, speaking evil of you” (1 Peter 4:4 NKJV).
You are not indulging in the big bashes of Babylon. You do not make salacious or edgy videos. You do not conform. By naming the Name of Christ, you stand apart. You realize how embarrassing and foolish Christians look when they try to blend their faith with worldly pleasure. But, if you are feeling culturally ostracized for sticking to your convictions, you should rejoice!
Remember the new world that is coming. Do not forget the prize! Remember the promise! Matthew 5:11 “Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. 12 Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
A social pariah; that is what you are to them.
“We have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries. In regard to these, they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of dissipation, speaking evil of you” (1 Peter 4:4 NKJV).
You are not indulging in the big bashes of Babylon. You do not make salacious or edgy videos. You do not conform. By naming the Name of Christ, you stand apart. You realize how embarrassing and foolish Christians look when they try to blend their faith with worldly pleasure. But, if you are feeling culturally ostracized for sticking to your convictions, you should rejoice!
By naming the Name of Christ, you stand apart.
I will tell you why, by sharing with you a story from ancient Rome. A lonely guard stands outside a wealthy Patrician’s villa during a wild party. His master has retained him to protect the rich in their gluttonous, and licentious revelry.
As he stands guard, two worlds begin to collide. On one side, he hears the lewd laughter spilling out of the opulent garden. On the other side, he hears singing coming up from a grate in the street. Beneath his feet are the Christians in the catacombs, singing to the Lord.
He is being pulled by both the lewd laughter, and the hymns. The attraction to the laughter of the wealthy is easy to explain. It embodies his ambition to rise above his station and experience the pleasures of Rome.
The other pull is hard to explain. But it is equally powerful―and the pull is growing steadily more powerful.
By all accounts, the laughter from the party inside the villa should win this competition. Surely, wealth and gratification are preferred to the stench of city sewers, underground cemeteries, and a life spent in hiding.
But the singing has a wonderfully strange and growing influence on him. It speaks to the deepest part of him, but, he does not know why. How can the music of martyrs drown out the laughter of the rich and shameless? Can their joy expose the emptiness of revelry, and the fleeting glory of Rome?
How many nights has he stood on this very spot, passing the time by calculating his plans for becoming rich and powerful? But tonight, he is not counting the days, he is counting the cost. He can do without the drunkenness and momentary pleasure, but he cannot live without the peace and joy that the music is promising.
Abandoning all for Christ, he marches to the grate in the street, dislodges the filthy and rusted ironworks, and steps down into the life that will never cease and will never fail him.
Remember, as you are surrounded by empty pleasure, why you began to follow Christ in the first place.
That Roman guard decided that the party cannot compare to the celebration. Why stake your life on a world that is coming apart, instead of the Kingdom that is coming together?
Today’s pleasure cannot compare to the joy of the Return of Christ.
This world’s thrills cannot compare to that day when we shall see Him, face to face! Nothing can compare to remaining true to Christ. That is why Paul said in Romans 8:18, “For I consider [from the standpoint of faith] that the sufferings of the present life are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us!”
Will you be able to say with Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only, but also to all who have loved His appearing” (2 Tim. 4:7-8).
Most of all remember this: That when you take that stand and bear the reproach you will win lost souls to Christ. Your very life becomes that music that makes men and woman want to leave all to serve the King of Kings.
Rejoice, if you feel culturally ostracized. It is proof that you have chosen Joy and Life instead of vanity and death!
24 December 2019
Merry Christmas to All Our Friends
May there always be work for your hands to do.
May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine on your windowpane.
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine on your windowpane.
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near you.
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
* * *
The LORD bless you and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
21 December 2019
20 December 2019
God's Word for Friday, 12/20/19
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
Luke 2:1, 4-5 KJV
About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David’s town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.
Luke 2:1, 4-5 MSG
25 December 2018
21 December 2018
God's Word for Friday, 12/21/18
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
Luke 2:6-7 KJV
While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.
Luke 2:6-7 MSG
20 December 2018
25 December 2017
What Christmas Is All About
Merry Christmas!
I am a follower of Jesus the Anointed One (the word "Christ" means anointed. It comes from the Greek Χριστός, cristos, and is a translation of the Hebrew word for Messiah, מָשִׁיחַ, meshiyach, which means anointed.) of Nazareth. It is Christ's Mass, and so it shall remain. To our Jewish brothers and sisters, I hope your Hanukkah celebration this year has been the best ever. If you choose, for whatever reason, to celebrate a different holiday, then please do so and be happy.
This is a reminder of the reason why there's a mid-winter holiday celebration.
From our home to yours, we pray you have a very merry, safe, and happy Christmas. God bless you, my friends.
I am a follower of Jesus the Anointed One (the word "Christ" means anointed. It comes from the Greek Χριστός, cristos, and is a translation of the Hebrew word for Messiah, מָשִׁיחַ, meshiyach, which means anointed.) of Nazareth. It is Christ's Mass, and so it shall remain. To our Jewish brothers and sisters, I hope your Hanukkah celebration this year has been the best ever. If you choose, for whatever reason, to celebrate a different holiday, then please do so and be happy.
This is a reminder of the reason why there's a mid-winter holiday celebration.
About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David's town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.So then ...
While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.
There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God's angel stood among them and God's glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David's town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you're to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger."
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God's praises:
Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.
As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. "Let's get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us." They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.
Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!
This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted...And that's good news indeed!
From our home to yours, we pray you have a very merry, safe, and happy Christmas. God bless you, my friends.
25 December 2016
The Good News on Christmas Day
There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God’s angel stood among them and God’s glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David’s town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you’re to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger.”
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:
Luke 2:8-14, The Message Bible
__________________________________________________________________________
A message from the Rev. Billy Graham:
Once again the world celebrates Christmas in the midst of crisis. Millions are not certain they will survive to see another Christmas. In many parts of the world, Christmas carolers will stand outside their neighbors’ doors and sing “Silent Night! Holy Night!” Everyone is busily preparing for the holiday season.
Yet, in the midst of this preparation, millions have missed the real meaning of Christmas.
In the midst of the Christmas rush, Christ is often left out as we forget that it is actually His birthday we are celebrating. The precise meaning of that first Christmas is clear: God came to earth in human form.
Some 2,000 years ago, the angel revealed to the wondering and trembling shepherds the glorious news that there was born that day “in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:11). The angel had already announced to Joseph the character of Christ’s Saviorhood: “You shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21).
Israel had looked for One who would deliver them from the bondage of Rome and restore the nation to an even greater glory and prosperity than was enjoyed in the days of King David. They never dreamed that this little Babe in Bethlehem’s manger was the anointed One, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Only a few devout people living in close communion with God, such as the aged Simeon, saw the spiritual significance of Christ’s birth. Looking into the face of the holy Babe, Simeon saw One who had come to be “a light to bring revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of [God’s] people Israel” (Luke 2:32).
There is a story that comes to us out of the World War II years in England. A good mother tried daily to keep the memory of her young son’s father fresh in the boy’s mind. Often this mother would take the lad into the library of their home, and there they would stand and gaze at the beautiful portrait of his father. One day the young boy looked long and wistfully at his father’s picture and said to his mother, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Father could just step down out of the frame?”
For long centuries the children of God had walked in the light of the lawgiver and of the prophets, but all the while they had looked up to Heaven and longed to have God step down “out of the frame.” In Bethlehem 2,000 years ago, that is just what God did. He became bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh and “dwelt among us.” The Christmas message is this: “God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself” (2 Corinthians 5:19).
But because people were blind to their sins, they saw no beauty in Christ that they should desire Him. They crucified the Christ who yearned to save them from their sins and from the tragic consequences that inevitably followed their rejection of God’s anointed.
Human nature has not changed. We like the excitement and thrill of Christmas, but we reject the true meaning of Christ’s birthday.
The world’s primary need today is the Savior—salvation from sin. Failure to recognize this fact and receive God’s remedy for sin is the reason mankind has failed to prevent recurring wars and revolutions in the world. The best schemes and endeavors of people come to naught because within their hearts is lust for position, power and possessions.
Jesus Christ said, “Out of the heart … proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness” (Mark 7:21-22). Until these things are rooted out, the world in a moral and a spiritual sense will go backward rather than forward.
Many have preached about the Sermon on the Mount as though that in itself is a sufficient dynamic to bring a new world order of peace and goodwill among men. All the religions of the world say, “Do good; do good,” but they do not give us the power to do good. One of the failures of many church leaders is their refusal to believe that our deepest problem is sin. We have joined hands with the idealists of the world in trying to bring about social reform without first dealing with the root of the problem, which is sin.
Many people have failed to see that the human will is sin-bound, egotistical and in rebellion against the will of God. We think that in some particular “ism” we hold the secret to universal peace and prosperity. All religions and ideologies outside God’s special revelation in the Bible have this in common: They are disguised forms of self-redemption and Christ rejection.
Without God we cannot put the world right because we cannot put ourselves right. It is beyond us to put away the sin in our own hearts. We cannot save ourselves, let alone the whole world. Sin permeates all that we think, feel and do; like a shadow, sin pursues us wherever we go. It is part and parcel of our being; we cannot eradicate it.
The evils that curse the world are the consequences of hearts deceived by the devil and separated from God. Thousands of human schemes for social and political improvement will ultimately fail because they do not deal with a person’s basic disease. They change the circumstances, but they leave the person untouched. They alter the surroundings, but they have no power to transform the character. If mankind is to be saved in this terrible hour of history, if the world is to be transformed, then salvation must come from a source outside ourselves.
Christmas emphasizes the glorious truth that salvation is provided apart from us, that into this sin-cursed world came One whose supreme mission is to save sinners.
We cannot save ourselves because we cannot deliver ourselves from the guilt, the power and the consequences of sin. Those in rebellion against God have no terms of peace to offer that are acceptable to God. Only God Himself can make peace, and this He has done through the atoning sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ. Through the merits of Christ’s life and death, we are offered full and free forgiveness.
Christmas tells us what it cost God to save the world: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:16). Christ is God’s great Christmas Gift to the world: “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift” (2 Corinthians 9:15). Christ does for us what no other has been able to do: He removes our guilt and reconciles us to God. He raises us from the death of sin to the life of righteousness. He reconciles us to life and to our fellow man. He implants within us new hopes, new aims, new enthusiasms. He regenerates our affections, our desires and our energies, and strengthens our wills.
Beautiful, ethical precepts cannot save us, but Christ can. When Christ comes into a life, He revolutionizes it so that the person becomes a “new creation.” This, and this alone, is our hope.
This hope that was given to those shepherds on that first Christmas morning is available only to those who believe. To know the pardon, joy, peace and power that come through Christ, we must personally receive Christ by faith. Faith must be real if our hearts are to be changed. Mere intellectual assent is not enough. Where faith is genuine, its influence is powerful and revolutionary. This Christmas many people believe that Jesus is the Son of God, without any change happening in their lives. They have never repented and believed. What an astounding change would take place if the millions who profess to be Christians possessed genuine faith.
When we have genuine faith in Christ, a change takes place. We will have a new kind of relationship with our families, our employers, our employees and even our enemies.
Many people ask, “Why doesn’t this revolution happen to more people?” It is because millions of professing Christians are strangers to the genuine, saving faith that means coming to the end of ourselves, to the end of our self-reliance and self-righteousness, and then trusting absolutely in Christ for forgiveness, for moral and spiritual renewal.
The Christmas angels praised God and proclaimed peace on earth. It was by and through Jesus Christ that peace was to come to the earth. Scripture says, “He Himself is our peace” (Ephesians 2:14). All else is confusion, discord and disorder. Jesus Christ is life’s integrator. He is humanity’s harmonizer, the race’s reconciler, the world’s peace-giver: “For there is born to you this day … a Savior, who is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:11).
Many of you long for peace in your own hearts this Christmas. You can meet God at the foot of the cross and find the peace that you have sought for so long. You ask, “What do I have to do?” Repent of your sins. By faith receive Christ as your Savior and Lord and Master. Commit your life to Him. He will come into your heart, and this Christmas you can know the Christ of Christmas.
©1991 BGEA
At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God’s praises:
"Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him."
Luke 2:8-14, The Message Bible
__________________________________________________________________________
A message from the Rev. Billy Graham:
Once again the world celebrates Christmas in the midst of crisis. Millions are not certain they will survive to see another Christmas. In many parts of the world, Christmas carolers will stand outside their neighbors’ doors and sing “Silent Night! Holy Night!” Everyone is busily preparing for the holiday season.
Yet, in the midst of this preparation, millions have missed the real meaning of Christmas.
In the midst of the Christmas rush, Christ is often left out as we forget that it is actually His birthday we are celebrating. The precise meaning of that first Christmas is clear: God came to earth in human form.
Some 2,000 years ago, the angel revealed to the wondering and trembling shepherds the glorious news that there was born that day “in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:11). The angel had already announced to Joseph the character of Christ’s Saviorhood: “You shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins” (Matthew 1:21).
Israel had looked for One who would deliver them from the bondage of Rome and restore the nation to an even greater glory and prosperity than was enjoyed in the days of King David. They never dreamed that this little Babe in Bethlehem’s manger was the anointed One, the King of kings and the Lord of lords. Only a few devout people living in close communion with God, such as the aged Simeon, saw the spiritual significance of Christ’s birth. Looking into the face of the holy Babe, Simeon saw One who had come to be “a light to bring revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of [God’s] people Israel” (Luke 2:32).
There is a story that comes to us out of the World War II years in England. A good mother tried daily to keep the memory of her young son’s father fresh in the boy’s mind. Often this mother would take the lad into the library of their home, and there they would stand and gaze at the beautiful portrait of his father. One day the young boy looked long and wistfully at his father’s picture and said to his mother, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Father could just step down out of the frame?”
For long centuries the children of God had walked in the light of the lawgiver and of the prophets, but all the while they had looked up to Heaven and longed to have God step down “out of the frame.” In Bethlehem 2,000 years ago, that is just what God did. He became bone of our bone and flesh of our flesh and “dwelt among us.” The Christmas message is this: “God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself” (2 Corinthians 5:19).
But because people were blind to their sins, they saw no beauty in Christ that they should desire Him. They crucified the Christ who yearned to save them from their sins and from the tragic consequences that inevitably followed their rejection of God’s anointed.
Human nature has not changed. We like the excitement and thrill of Christmas, but we reject the true meaning of Christ’s birthday.
The world’s primary need today is the Savior—salvation from sin. Failure to recognize this fact and receive God’s remedy for sin is the reason mankind has failed to prevent recurring wars and revolutions in the world. The best schemes and endeavors of people come to naught because within their hearts is lust for position, power and possessions.
Jesus Christ said, “Out of the heart … proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness” (Mark 7:21-22). Until these things are rooted out, the world in a moral and a spiritual sense will go backward rather than forward.
Many have preached about the Sermon on the Mount as though that in itself is a sufficient dynamic to bring a new world order of peace and goodwill among men. All the religions of the world say, “Do good; do good,” but they do not give us the power to do good. One of the failures of many church leaders is their refusal to believe that our deepest problem is sin. We have joined hands with the idealists of the world in trying to bring about social reform without first dealing with the root of the problem, which is sin.
Many people have failed to see that the human will is sin-bound, egotistical and in rebellion against the will of God. We think that in some particular “ism” we hold the secret to universal peace and prosperity. All religions and ideologies outside God’s special revelation in the Bible have this in common: They are disguised forms of self-redemption and Christ rejection.
Without God we cannot put the world right because we cannot put ourselves right. It is beyond us to put away the sin in our own hearts. We cannot save ourselves, let alone the whole world. Sin permeates all that we think, feel and do; like a shadow, sin pursues us wherever we go. It is part and parcel of our being; we cannot eradicate it.
The evils that curse the world are the consequences of hearts deceived by the devil and separated from God. Thousands of human schemes for social and political improvement will ultimately fail because they do not deal with a person’s basic disease. They change the circumstances, but they leave the person untouched. They alter the surroundings, but they have no power to transform the character. If mankind is to be saved in this terrible hour of history, if the world is to be transformed, then salvation must come from a source outside ourselves.
Christmas emphasizes the glorious truth that salvation is provided apart from us, that into this sin-cursed world came One whose supreme mission is to save sinners.
We cannot save ourselves because we cannot deliver ourselves from the guilt, the power and the consequences of sin. Those in rebellion against God have no terms of peace to offer that are acceptable to God. Only God Himself can make peace, and this He has done through the atoning sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ. Through the merits of Christ’s life and death, we are offered full and free forgiveness.
Christmas tells us what it cost God to save the world: “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son” (John 3:16). Christ is God’s great Christmas Gift to the world: “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift” (2 Corinthians 9:15). Christ does for us what no other has been able to do: He removes our guilt and reconciles us to God. He raises us from the death of sin to the life of righteousness. He reconciles us to life and to our fellow man. He implants within us new hopes, new aims, new enthusiasms. He regenerates our affections, our desires and our energies, and strengthens our wills.
Beautiful, ethical precepts cannot save us, but Christ can. When Christ comes into a life, He revolutionizes it so that the person becomes a “new creation.” This, and this alone, is our hope.
This hope that was given to those shepherds on that first Christmas morning is available only to those who believe. To know the pardon, joy, peace and power that come through Christ, we must personally receive Christ by faith. Faith must be real if our hearts are to be changed. Mere intellectual assent is not enough. Where faith is genuine, its influence is powerful and revolutionary. This Christmas many people believe that Jesus is the Son of God, without any change happening in their lives. They have never repented and believed. What an astounding change would take place if the millions who profess to be Christians possessed genuine faith.
When we have genuine faith in Christ, a change takes place. We will have a new kind of relationship with our families, our employers, our employees and even our enemies.
Many people ask, “Why doesn’t this revolution happen to more people?” It is because millions of professing Christians are strangers to the genuine, saving faith that means coming to the end of ourselves, to the end of our self-reliance and self-righteousness, and then trusting absolutely in Christ for forgiveness, for moral and spiritual renewal.
The Christmas angels praised God and proclaimed peace on earth. It was by and through Jesus Christ that peace was to come to the earth. Scripture says, “He Himself is our peace” (Ephesians 2:14). All else is confusion, discord and disorder. Jesus Christ is life’s integrator. He is humanity’s harmonizer, the race’s reconciler, the world’s peace-giver: “For there is born to you this day … a Savior, who is Christ the Lord” (Luke 2:11).
Many of you long for peace in your own hearts this Christmas. You can meet God at the foot of the cross and find the peace that you have sought for so long. You ask, “What do I have to do?” Repent of your sins. By faith receive Christ as your Savior and Lord and Master. Commit your life to Him. He will come into your heart, and this Christmas you can know the Christ of Christmas.
©1991 BGEA
24 December 2016
21 December 2016
17 December 2016
Another Snowy Day
It warmed up overnight, and the inch of light snow that had collected on the balcony and front stairs turned to slush, and then solid ice.
Needless to say (so why am I saying it?), we don't go out that way very often, this time of year.
But the temps, which were supposed to fall, have been bouncing around the freezing mark all morning. We've had several rounds of light snow, picking up another inch or so.
Given the forecast, we headed into the city after breakfast. That allowed us to beat the hordes of zombies, Reavers, and angry shoppers who begin to appear between 1000 and 1100. And since none of those are present early, the stores' staffs are happier, too.
We hit a couple three big box stores, with specific goals in mind. Goals achieved, we headed back north.
In the meantime, the highway is in variable condition, so traffic speeds vary between 50 and 60 most of the way. So it wasn't awful, and bit o' fishtailing from time to time keeps the heart beating nicely.
:)
We've been addressing Christmas cards and wrapping gifts since then. The only chore left now is a trip to the post office.
Once that's done, we're in for the afternoon, and looking forward to a round of Christmas movies.
Thanks for stopping by, friends.
Needless to say (so why am I saying it?), we don't go out that way very often, this time of year.
But the temps, which were supposed to fall, have been bouncing around the freezing mark all morning. We've had several rounds of light snow, picking up another inch or so.
Given the forecast, we headed into the city after breakfast. That allowed us to beat the hordes of zombies, Reavers, and angry shoppers who begin to appear between 1000 and 1100. And since none of those are present early, the stores' staffs are happier, too.
We hit a couple three big box stores, with specific goals in mind. Goals achieved, we headed back north.
In the meantime, the highway is in variable condition, so traffic speeds vary between 50 and 60 most of the way. So it wasn't awful, and bit o' fishtailing from time to time keeps the heart beating nicely.
:)
We've been addressing Christmas cards and wrapping gifts since then. The only chore left now is a trip to the post office.
Once that's done, we're in for the afternoon, and looking forward to a round of Christmas movies.
Thanks for stopping by, friends.
26 December 2015
The Day After
Greetings, fellow Earthlings!
I haven't watched any news in 48 hours, and so am even more-than-usual content. Like that other Paul, "I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances." (Philippians 4:11)
Well, mostly ... but I'm learning. :)
Yesterday was a good day, and it's my prayer that yours was equally good - if not better. With our daughters grown, most of the Christmas gifts are cash cards, aimed at various firearms purchases, upcoming vacations, and so forth.
But Christmas isn't supposed to be about giving, and you probably know that. Christians give gifts to each other, to remember that perfect gift that God gave us - His own Son - some two thousand years ago.
What it is, is a chance for families to re-connect, to spend time with one another, to set grievances (if any) aside, and express their love for one another. That expression may take many forms, as people and customs differ.
So I continue to pray that each of you had an unusually good Christmas. If you did, that's wonderful! If you didn't - and want someone to talk to - please contact me via e-mail (on my "about me" section, on the sidebar), as the Lord has a word of encouragement for you.
* * * * *
The weather here has warmed some, into the low 20s, and AccuHunch WeatherGuess opines that we'll have a wintry mix tomorrow night and on Monday. Lovely, if true, but whatever. We all have four-wheel-drives and winter tires, and have little care for whatever happens. It's just winter, and Alaskans are used to that.
So be of good cheer, and fear no evil tidings. The Lord is on His throne, and Jesus is coming soon!
"Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ, the Anointed One." (Philippians 1:27)
I haven't watched any news in 48 hours, and so am even more-than-usual content. Like that other Paul, "I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances." (Philippians 4:11)
Well, mostly ... but I'm learning. :)
Yesterday was a good day, and it's my prayer that yours was equally good - if not better. With our daughters grown, most of the Christmas gifts are cash cards, aimed at various firearms purchases, upcoming vacations, and so forth.
But Christmas isn't supposed to be about giving, and you probably know that. Christians give gifts to each other, to remember that perfect gift that God gave us - His own Son - some two thousand years ago.
What it is, is a chance for families to re-connect, to spend time with one another, to set grievances (if any) aside, and express their love for one another. That expression may take many forms, as people and customs differ.
So I continue to pray that each of you had an unusually good Christmas. If you did, that's wonderful! If you didn't - and want someone to talk to - please contact me via e-mail (on my "about me" section, on the sidebar), as the Lord has a word of encouragement for you.
* * * * *
The weather here has warmed some, into the low 20s, and AccuHunch WeatherGuess opines that we'll have a wintry mix tomorrow night and on Monday. Lovely, if true, but whatever. We all have four-wheel-drives and winter tires, and have little care for whatever happens. It's just winter, and Alaskans are used to that.
So be of good cheer, and fear no evil tidings. The Lord is on His throne, and Jesus is coming soon!
"Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ, the Anointed One." (Philippians 1:27)
24 December 2015
Merry Christmas!
This season is Christians traditional celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus the Anointed (that's what "Christ" means), the Son of God.
There is a well-known passage which explains it simply:
The message is so simple, you'd have to be a theologian to mess it up. God loved us so much that he sent his son, part of himself, to save us. That's good news!
All we have to do is accept him.
So with that, I bid you Joyeux Noel - a joyous Christmas - and pray that God blesses and keeps you and yours safe, happy, and care-free this season.
Merry Christmas!
There is a well-known passage which explains it simply:
The message is so simple, you'd have to be a theologian to mess it up. God loved us so much that he sent his son, part of himself, to save us. That's good news!
All we have to do is accept him.
So with that, I bid you Joyeux Noel - a joyous Christmas - and pray that God blesses and keeps you and yours safe, happy, and care-free this season.
Merry Christmas!
23 December 2015
21 December 2015
Every Simon's Cat Christmas Video
We've heard your cries, and so ... for your viewing pleasure ... here's every Simon's Cat Christmas video ever made, all in one place.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
17 December 2015
Christmas Gifts for Real Alaskans
Just some suggestions of items popular among long-time residents, or those they wish they had:
Alaskan repair kit:
Alaskan army knife:
Bun Finder:
GPS GPS:
Alaskan repair kit:
 |
| What every Alaskan needs: duct tape, Heet, whiskey, WD-40, pine-scented air fresheners, glue, fishing line, baling wire |
Alaskan army knife:
Swiss army knives are for Europeans. Corkscrews and nail files may come in handy at your chalet in Gstaad, but we Alaskans demand more from our multi-tools. Components are specifically designed to open without making you put down your beverage of choice, and include: pull-tab scratcher, fish bonker, miniature chain saw, windshield squeegee, caribou de-boner, caribou re-boner, extra-strong toothpick reinforced to handle even the most stubborn homemade jerky, and a bolo tie (Don Young signature model only).
Bun Finder:
Maps a route to the nearest available cinnamon roll within a 1,000-mile radius.
GPS GPS:
Locates your lost GPS, which you swear you stashed in a dry bag somewhere in your garage, shed, crawl space or storage unit. Although it’s entirely possible you loaned it to any one of 20 people who literally may be anywhere right now.
06 December 2015
Victoria Fedden: Christmas in the '70s vs. Christmas Today
Christmas in the 70s vs. Christmas Today
December 2, 2015
A step by step guide...
Christmas in the 70s
1. Mid-October: When the Sears Roebuck and J.C. Penney’s Christmas catalogs come in the mail, give them to the kids and tell them to circle what they want. Order about a quarter of it. Do not order the rock polisher they keep asking for.
2. Continue about your normal routine until the second week of December.
3. Check the TV Guide for the dates and times when all the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials will air. Plan accordingly so the kids don’t miss them again this year. You don’t want to have to listen to Jessica crying about having to wait ‘til next year to see Rudolph.
4. Make a large container of Chex Mix to have on hand. Restock the liquor cabinet and be sure to purchase plenty of Crown Royal and the ingredients for pina coladas. Harveys Bristol Cream is good to have on hand during the holiday season as well. Do not forget both green and red maraschino cherries.
5. Around December 15th drag the fiberglass tree up from the cellar along with the box of Christmas decorations.
6. First, spray everything with several aerosol cans of fake snow.
7. String the tree with blinking, multicolored lights. Spend 45 minutes trying to find the one bulb on the string that’s burned out and thus making all of the other lights in the string not work. Replace that bulb. Become tangled in cords. Go into the den for a cigarette to calm down.
8. Come back in and add an extra shot of rum to your eggnog before hanging red and gold balls on the tree. These would be the Styrofoam balls covered in a layer of silky thread. They only look nice for about five minutes out of the box because the thread always get snagged on the tree branches and starts to fray and unravel. Spray some aerosol Aquanet hairspray on them. It might work. It might not. It also might make the ornaments more flammable, especially if they’re close to the lights, but c’est la vie. All these fire prevention tips are overrated anyway.
9. Cover the entire tree with tinsel. All of it. You don’t even want to see that tree. You just want to see a big, glowing pyramid of blinking lights and tinsel in your living room picture window.
10. Take the children downtown to visit Santa. Snap a couple Polaroids of the event. Give them each a candy cane and get home in time to watch “Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey.”
11. Pick up a pack of Christmas cards the next time you’re in the Hallmark store on Main Street. Maybe something in an elegant Currier & Ives style this year. Run home and write them out and then stop by the post office later for a pack of thirteen cent stamps.
12. Windex the protective vinyl coverings on your living room set and dust your ornate, gilt, rain lamp so your home looks nice for Christmas guests. Water the terrarium while you’re at it and stick a ceramic elf in the soil for holiday cheer.
13. Go downtown to the Sears distribution center to pick up your order while the kids are at school. Wrap everything and hide it in the shed outside where they can’t find it. If you run out of wrapping paper, just use the funny pages.
14. Plan Christmas menu: canned ham, fruit cocktail, Watergate salad, green bean casserole, jellied cranberry salad, Hawaiian punch with rainbow sherbet, nutty cheese ball, fruit cake...
15. Attend the children’s public school Christmas pageant that is complete with a manger scene. Wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
16. Come home and save cat from choking to death on tinsel for the sixty-fifth time.
17. Put on the Donny and Marie Christmas album. Dust off The Carpenters’ “Merry Christmas, Darling” and that annoying Chipmunks record the kids love so much.
18. Dress the girls in matching, floor length, red velvet, empire-waisted, high-collared gowns with white ruffled cuffs. Put the boys in corduroys, plaid button ups with dog-ear collars and matching Hunter green vests. Throw on your new bright red pants suit with the attached silk scarf, finish with a spritz of L’Air du Temps and praise polyester! No more ironing! You are now ready to go to the Christmas Eve service at church.
19. On Christmas morning get the flashbulbs ready and take several photos of the kids opening their Lite-Brites and Slinkies. Relax while Matthew plays with his Starsky and Hutch car and the girls prance around in their new Wonder Woman and Bat Girl Underoos.
20. Slip into your new jumpsuit, wing your hair and put the canned ham in the oven along with a Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie.
21. Enjoy dinner with the family on the rec room pool table which you have covered with a plastic tablecloth printed with bells and wreaths.
22. Let the kids play with their favorite gift: COUSINS. The adults can have Irish coffee, fruit cake and a few Benson & Hedges in the family room while the snow falls outside (because it ALWAYS snows on Christmas).
Christmas Today
1. Early September, arrange photo shoot for family Christmas card. Coordinate matching outfits of khaki pants and white button ups. Get teeth whitened and hair highlighted. Practice several poses with the family: jumping in the air, sitting in the grass, walking away from the camera while the little ones toddle adorably behind ...
2. After your mid-September photo shoot, be sure to head over to the mall to admire the Christmas displays in the stores. Then go get a pumpkin spice latte to really get in the holiday spirit even though it’s 80 degrees out and technically still summer.
3. Go to Costco and purchase several inflatable Santas and snowmen and a herd of light-up, wicker reindeer for your front yard. Buy so many lights that your home will look like the Las Vegas strip of Christmas, come December.
4. Find out the “must-have” toys this year. Start researching. Make a game plan for Black Friday.
5. The week before Thanksgiving, begin decorating your home for Christmas. Think elaborate. Each child needs a tree in his or her room. Don’t forget that Olivia wants a PINK tree in her room. Ayden would prefer a Paw Patrol Christmas theme in his room.
6. Have an anxiety attack trying to decide between getting a Douglas Fir and a Fraser Fir. Look for organic, locally sourced Christmas trees from sustainable farms only. Ask the Internet for help.
7. Hire a professional tree decorator to come and string the LED lights on the Fraser Fir which you chose because the Internet said it was the number one pick for Christmas trees seven years running. Worry that the warm white lights you chose are too “90s” and maybe you should have gone retro-chic with the rainbow lights, which might actually be too “70s” and then wish you’d have gone super-retro and asked if real, beeswax candles were available because how totally Martha would that be? Except fires. No, scrap the candle idea. Go with the warm white.
8. Do not be alarmed that the Christmas tree is UPSIDE DOWN. It’s okay. The tree decorator assured you that upside down Christmas trees were “THE thing” this year.
9. Stage a complicated tree lighting ceremony for Thanksgiving evening, but make sure you hurry up with the whole Thanksgiving dinner thing because you need to hit the stores. Black Friday actually starts Thursday night now and you want to be first in line to get the five dollar, robotic, unicorn pony and every single other piece of Disney’s The Good Dinosaur merchandise because you can SO sell the extras on eBay.
10. Admire your holiday photo cards when they arrive via FedEx. The sepia tone looks fantastic. Praise your own good taste. Your family definitely looks like something out of the Pottery Barn catalog. Actually, no. The Restoration Hardware catalog. Sigh with relief that you chose “Happy Holidays” over “Season’s Greetings.” You’d agonized over that for days. Now drop the already addressed, pre-printed cards off at the post office and pay $437.29 in postage.
11. Host a holiday cookie exchange. Be sure to remind guests that it is a GRAIN-FREE cookie exchange because you and several other guests are suffering from wheat belly, and possibly leaky gut (at least according to your acupuncturist).
12. Take the children to gingerbread house making class, Seasonal Craft Explosion, Reindeer Fest, Santa Days Blitzkrieg and the Chanukah/Kwanzaa/Christmas/ Pagan Winter Solstice Hot Yoga Celebration of Light. You do not want the kids to miss a single event this December. They will not.
13. Become deeply concerned when you read on Facebook that eggnog lattes contain carcinogens. Virtually sign some sort of online petition about Starbucks and chemicals. Order an eggnog latte anyway, skinny with four Splendas.
14. Plan Christmas dinner. Purchase a set of Spode dinnerware. Order an organic, humanely raised, pastured turkey who was treated so well that he was named Ethan and kept as a pet before being slaughtered (yes, humanely). Then go to Whole Foods and buy a Field Roast because you can’t bear to actually eat Ethan.
15. Plan alternative Christmas dinners for vegan, gluten-free, Paleo guests.
16. Make a hip Christmas playlist on Spotify that combines remixed classics from the 40s and 50s with Indie covers. Think Dub-Step Rudolph followed by The Mountain Goats’ version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”
17. Burn your arm making homemade cranberry sauce. Jeez, that stuff is like molten lava. Toss the whole pot and use the Trader Joe’s jarred version. Much safer.
18. Take some probiotics. Because stress.
19. Attend the children’s December Pageant at their Waldorf/Montessori Hybrid Charter Preschool. Post several photos of your daughter dressed as a Kwanzaa candle on Instagram along with a video of your son singing a Chanukah song in Hebrew even though you are not Jewish and Chanukah actually ended three weeks earlier. Wish everyone a good month. That can’t offend anyone, right? Enjoy a nice kombucha on tap with the other parents after the show ends.
20. Make homemade, wheat-free, peppermint scented, red and green play-dough to entertain the children during their school break.
21. Blind panic when you realize that OH MY GOD, you completely forgot to do Elf on the Mother-Freaking Shelf. Immediately locate said Elf and pose him on the edge of your toilet with a fishing pole and several marshmallows floating in the toilet bowl. Take a bunch of pictures of him for social media.
22. Check and see how many “likes” and “shares” your Elf pics got.
23. Let the kids watch the classic Christmas specials whenever they want. You have downloaded them all onto their iPads for everyone’s convenience. Olivia and Baylee have seen Charlie Brown 75 times. Today. Ayden is singing the Heat Miser song. Totes cute. Make a Vine of it.
24. Explain sadly to the children that no, Heat Miser isn’t real, but Global Warming is and no, there will not be a white Christmas this year because it’s seventy degrees out in late December again.
25. On Christmas Eve, arrange professionally wrapped gifts under the upside down Christmas tree. Set out a plate of date and coconut raw energy bars and a glass of cashew mylk for Santa. After the kids go to bed stay up until 4am putting all the toys together. Drink wine out of a quart sized Mason jar. It’s okay, no one can see you. I mean, unless you take a selfie, which maybe might be kind of like, ironic funny.
26. Do some breathing exercises. It will all be over soon and the kids love the holidays so much. It’s totally worth it. Think of the memories.
27. #SeasonsGreetings
28. #HappyHolidays
December 2, 2015
A step by step guide...
Christmas in the 70s
1. Mid-October: When the Sears Roebuck and J.C. Penney’s Christmas catalogs come in the mail, give them to the kids and tell them to circle what they want. Order about a quarter of it. Do not order the rock polisher they keep asking for.
2. Continue about your normal routine until the second week of December.
3. Check the TV Guide for the dates and times when all the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials will air. Plan accordingly so the kids don’t miss them again this year. You don’t want to have to listen to Jessica crying about having to wait ‘til next year to see Rudolph.
4. Make a large container of Chex Mix to have on hand. Restock the liquor cabinet and be sure to purchase plenty of Crown Royal and the ingredients for pina coladas. Harveys Bristol Cream is good to have on hand during the holiday season as well. Do not forget both green and red maraschino cherries.
5. Around December 15th drag the fiberglass tree up from the cellar along with the box of Christmas decorations.
6. First, spray everything with several aerosol cans of fake snow.
7. String the tree with blinking, multicolored lights. Spend 45 minutes trying to find the one bulb on the string that’s burned out and thus making all of the other lights in the string not work. Replace that bulb. Become tangled in cords. Go into the den for a cigarette to calm down.
8. Come back in and add an extra shot of rum to your eggnog before hanging red and gold balls on the tree. These would be the Styrofoam balls covered in a layer of silky thread. They only look nice for about five minutes out of the box because the thread always get snagged on the tree branches and starts to fray and unravel. Spray some aerosol Aquanet hairspray on them. It might work. It might not. It also might make the ornaments more flammable, especially if they’re close to the lights, but c’est la vie. All these fire prevention tips are overrated anyway.
9. Cover the entire tree with tinsel. All of it. You don’t even want to see that tree. You just want to see a big, glowing pyramid of blinking lights and tinsel in your living room picture window.
10. Take the children downtown to visit Santa. Snap a couple Polaroids of the event. Give them each a candy cane and get home in time to watch “Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey.”
11. Pick up a pack of Christmas cards the next time you’re in the Hallmark store on Main Street. Maybe something in an elegant Currier & Ives style this year. Run home and write them out and then stop by the post office later for a pack of thirteen cent stamps.
12. Windex the protective vinyl coverings on your living room set and dust your ornate, gilt, rain lamp so your home looks nice for Christmas guests. Water the terrarium while you’re at it and stick a ceramic elf in the soil for holiday cheer.
13. Go downtown to the Sears distribution center to pick up your order while the kids are at school. Wrap everything and hide it in the shed outside where they can’t find it. If you run out of wrapping paper, just use the funny pages.
14. Plan Christmas menu: canned ham, fruit cocktail, Watergate salad, green bean casserole, jellied cranberry salad, Hawaiian punch with rainbow sherbet, nutty cheese ball, fruit cake...
15. Attend the children’s public school Christmas pageant that is complete with a manger scene. Wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
16. Come home and save cat from choking to death on tinsel for the sixty-fifth time.
17. Put on the Donny and Marie Christmas album. Dust off The Carpenters’ “Merry Christmas, Darling” and that annoying Chipmunks record the kids love so much.
18. Dress the girls in matching, floor length, red velvet, empire-waisted, high-collared gowns with white ruffled cuffs. Put the boys in corduroys, plaid button ups with dog-ear collars and matching Hunter green vests. Throw on your new bright red pants suit with the attached silk scarf, finish with a spritz of L’Air du Temps and praise polyester! No more ironing! You are now ready to go to the Christmas Eve service at church.
19. On Christmas morning get the flashbulbs ready and take several photos of the kids opening their Lite-Brites and Slinkies. Relax while Matthew plays with his Starsky and Hutch car and the girls prance around in their new Wonder Woman and Bat Girl Underoos.
20. Slip into your new jumpsuit, wing your hair and put the canned ham in the oven along with a Mrs. Smith’s pumpkin pie.
21. Enjoy dinner with the family on the rec room pool table which you have covered with a plastic tablecloth printed with bells and wreaths.
22. Let the kids play with their favorite gift: COUSINS. The adults can have Irish coffee, fruit cake and a few Benson & Hedges in the family room while the snow falls outside (because it ALWAYS snows on Christmas).
Christmas Today
1. Early September, arrange photo shoot for family Christmas card. Coordinate matching outfits of khaki pants and white button ups. Get teeth whitened and hair highlighted. Practice several poses with the family: jumping in the air, sitting in the grass, walking away from the camera while the little ones toddle adorably behind ...
2. After your mid-September photo shoot, be sure to head over to the mall to admire the Christmas displays in the stores. Then go get a pumpkin spice latte to really get in the holiday spirit even though it’s 80 degrees out and technically still summer.
3. Go to Costco and purchase several inflatable Santas and snowmen and a herd of light-up, wicker reindeer for your front yard. Buy so many lights that your home will look like the Las Vegas strip of Christmas, come December.
4. Find out the “must-have” toys this year. Start researching. Make a game plan for Black Friday.
5. The week before Thanksgiving, begin decorating your home for Christmas. Think elaborate. Each child needs a tree in his or her room. Don’t forget that Olivia wants a PINK tree in her room. Ayden would prefer a Paw Patrol Christmas theme in his room.
6. Have an anxiety attack trying to decide between getting a Douglas Fir and a Fraser Fir. Look for organic, locally sourced Christmas trees from sustainable farms only. Ask the Internet for help.
7. Hire a professional tree decorator to come and string the LED lights on the Fraser Fir which you chose because the Internet said it was the number one pick for Christmas trees seven years running. Worry that the warm white lights you chose are too “90s” and maybe you should have gone retro-chic with the rainbow lights, which might actually be too “70s” and then wish you’d have gone super-retro and asked if real, beeswax candles were available because how totally Martha would that be? Except fires. No, scrap the candle idea. Go with the warm white.
8. Do not be alarmed that the Christmas tree is UPSIDE DOWN. It’s okay. The tree decorator assured you that upside down Christmas trees were “THE thing” this year.
9. Stage a complicated tree lighting ceremony for Thanksgiving evening, but make sure you hurry up with the whole Thanksgiving dinner thing because you need to hit the stores. Black Friday actually starts Thursday night now and you want to be first in line to get the five dollar, robotic, unicorn pony and every single other piece of Disney’s The Good Dinosaur merchandise because you can SO sell the extras on eBay.
10. Admire your holiday photo cards when they arrive via FedEx. The sepia tone looks fantastic. Praise your own good taste. Your family definitely looks like something out of the Pottery Barn catalog. Actually, no. The Restoration Hardware catalog. Sigh with relief that you chose “Happy Holidays” over “Season’s Greetings.” You’d agonized over that for days. Now drop the already addressed, pre-printed cards off at the post office and pay $437.29 in postage.
11. Host a holiday cookie exchange. Be sure to remind guests that it is a GRAIN-FREE cookie exchange because you and several other guests are suffering from wheat belly, and possibly leaky gut (at least according to your acupuncturist).
12. Take the children to gingerbread house making class, Seasonal Craft Explosion, Reindeer Fest, Santa Days Blitzkrieg and the Chanukah/Kwanzaa/Christmas/ Pagan Winter Solstice Hot Yoga Celebration of Light. You do not want the kids to miss a single event this December. They will not.
13. Become deeply concerned when you read on Facebook that eggnog lattes contain carcinogens. Virtually sign some sort of online petition about Starbucks and chemicals. Order an eggnog latte anyway, skinny with four Splendas.
14. Plan Christmas dinner. Purchase a set of Spode dinnerware. Order an organic, humanely raised, pastured turkey who was treated so well that he was named Ethan and kept as a pet before being slaughtered (yes, humanely). Then go to Whole Foods and buy a Field Roast because you can’t bear to actually eat Ethan.
15. Plan alternative Christmas dinners for vegan, gluten-free, Paleo guests.
16. Make a hip Christmas playlist on Spotify that combines remixed classics from the 40s and 50s with Indie covers. Think Dub-Step Rudolph followed by The Mountain Goats’ version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”
17. Burn your arm making homemade cranberry sauce. Jeez, that stuff is like molten lava. Toss the whole pot and use the Trader Joe’s jarred version. Much safer.
18. Take some probiotics. Because stress.
19. Attend the children’s December Pageant at their Waldorf/Montessori Hybrid Charter Preschool. Post several photos of your daughter dressed as a Kwanzaa candle on Instagram along with a video of your son singing a Chanukah song in Hebrew even though you are not Jewish and Chanukah actually ended three weeks earlier. Wish everyone a good month. That can’t offend anyone, right? Enjoy a nice kombucha on tap with the other parents after the show ends.
20. Make homemade, wheat-free, peppermint scented, red and green play-dough to entertain the children during their school break.
21. Blind panic when you realize that OH MY GOD, you completely forgot to do Elf on the Mother-Freaking Shelf. Immediately locate said Elf and pose him on the edge of your toilet with a fishing pole and several marshmallows floating in the toilet bowl. Take a bunch of pictures of him for social media.
22. Check and see how many “likes” and “shares” your Elf pics got.
23. Let the kids watch the classic Christmas specials whenever they want. You have downloaded them all onto their iPads for everyone’s convenience. Olivia and Baylee have seen Charlie Brown 75 times. Today. Ayden is singing the Heat Miser song. Totes cute. Make a Vine of it.
24. Explain sadly to the children that no, Heat Miser isn’t real, but Global Warming is and no, there will not be a white Christmas this year because it’s seventy degrees out in late December again.
25. On Christmas Eve, arrange professionally wrapped gifts under the upside down Christmas tree. Set out a plate of date and coconut raw energy bars and a glass of cashew mylk for Santa. After the kids go to bed stay up until 4am putting all the toys together. Drink wine out of a quart sized Mason jar. It’s okay, no one can see you. I mean, unless you take a selfie, which maybe might be kind of like, ironic funny.
26. Do some breathing exercises. It will all be over soon and the kids love the holidays so much. It’s totally worth it. Think of the memories.
27. #SeasonsGreetings
28. #HappyHolidays
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)