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Monday Funnies

Monday Again? Let's See About That

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually ... from a non-linear,  non-subjective viewpoint ... it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey wimey stuff."*

* Doctor Who, "Blink"

Deep Thoughts

for a Monday morning.

The Internet Guide to Pregnancy

Found on the Book of Face:

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children are enough.

Q. I'm two months pregnant now; when will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after she finishes college.

Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's gender?
A. Childbirth.

Q. My wife is five months pregnant and sometimes so moody that she's borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?

Q. My childbirth coach says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q. When is the best time to get an epidural?
A. Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A. Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.

Q. Do I have to have a baby shower?
A. Not if you change the baby's diaper quickly enough.

Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.

The Day That Was

The temp's up to 7 above, and that's a good thing. The sun is shining, and that helped the defroster clear the windshield a little faster on the drive home. :)

Earlier today, at about one degree above zero ... click to enlargify.

The day was a busy one, with folks needing attention to this request or that ... all dealt with in due course. No emergencies, which is a good thing, but still plenty to keep me on the go.

From the building's standpoint, the cold weather arriving on Friday did us a favor of a sort - it gave the "smart" system a couple of days to catch up, so that there weren't as many cold spots as I normally hear about.

Still, the boilers don't always play well together, and if one short-cycles, the other's pump tends to shut off. Then they both sit there making lots of heat, but not sharing it with us.

But enough of that. It's tedious, and ... and why should you care?  :)

* * * * *

Fox News is reporting that at least 16 governors have now notified the White House that their States won't accept any Syrian refugees. Alaska isn't one of 'em - yet - but I have it on good authority that folks are bombarding his inbox and phone lines with requests for him to join that list.

Looks like Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, Ohio, Texas and Wisconsin are standing up, so far.

* * * * *

I want to end with this statement from Rev. Franklin Graham:

Islam has declared war on the world, and it’s high time we acknowledge it and respond decisively. Thursday, suicide bombers struck Beirut, killing at least 41 people and injuring 200 in the deadliest attack in the capital since the end of Lebanon’s civil war in 1990. Just over two weeks ago ISIS blew up the Russian jetliner taking 224 lives. Then the shocking and devastating Paris attacks. Let’s not forget what they have already done in America, killing nearly 3,000 people o...n 9/11 and then the carnage at the Boston Marathon in 2013. Add to these attacks the lone wolf Islamists who have followed the call to bring destruction and terror–it's a long list. As Alain Bauer, former security advisor to the French government, said on CBS 60 Minutes last night: We need to take ISIS at their word. I agree–they have told us what they plan to do. Their goal is world domination. They want to control us—they want to destroy us. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live under Islam. I will bow my knee to no one except Almighty God. The Bible says one day “at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father”–and that will include the knees of Islamists.

We need to elect a president and leaders willing to take the fight to the Islamic State. We need to join forces with Russia who was our ally in WWII, France who is our oldest ally, Germany, and others to destroy this enemy. The French are already responding to Friday’s attacks, but it is going to take much more to stop them.

Our world is in great peril. We need to pray for God’s mercy, His grace, and His protection. I pray that America will turn to God before it’s too late.

Amen.

Monday Again: Ice, Accidents, and Other Winter Fun

The threatened four inches of snow (not a lot by Alaskan standards) turned into a one-inch reality, but the ground's still warm. That means lots of slip-sliding on the paved surfaces .. and probably on the grassy areas, too, but I don't aim to find out.

UPDATE 11:20 a.m.:  Icy roads have led to more than 80 collisions this morning, with the Anchorage School District canceling after-school activities and some commuters forced to stay home.

Those who have procrastinated when it comes to having snow tires put on their vehicles (an annual event in Alaska, called "changeover" - happens in the spring, too) are lined up around the block at the bigger tire shops, Sam's Club, Costco, et cetera. With more snow in the forecast for the coming week, it's time to get 'er done. :)

The morning news looks like the usual: this or that legislator or assembly-person, caught influencing something-or-other, and ... and ...

Yawn. It's too routine to even merit mention. That's the shamiferous part of it (with apologies to Isaac Asimov, from whom I borrowed the word).

But it's Monday, and the future awaits. Make it a good one!

Moving Day

A bit busy today. All y'all help yourselves to the free ice cream on the sidebar, and I'll be back later.

Monday Humor

Got nuthin', you see, so here's a blast from the past:



Only once, he says. I wonder if he took Elvis along for the ride...







"The duck refused ..."? (bangs head on keyboard)
















No need to put on airs, you see.















With brainpower like that on display, I wonder why they were bought out?









Well, since it's on sale...











h/t AJDShootist

Grumble, Grumble

It's a warm day, here in Lake Woebegone Anchorage.  75 degrees, last time I looked, and still rising.

My building has two air-handling systems: one feeds a tenant space on the first floor which requires positive pressure at all times. The other, larger system feeds the rest of the multi-story structure.

Both chillers have gone on the blink today. 

I shoulda stayed in bed.

Rough Start

Almost slept through the alarm this morning. Knocked over my second cup of coffee, then tried to knock the hand-towel holder off of the bathroom counter while shaving. It was supposed to be sunny today, but we're completely socked in with low, dark grey clouds.

I should go back to bed.

It's Been a Long Day (Updated)

Yes, I know it's just past 1 p.m. But I start work at 6 a.m., so there.

The large commercial property I manage* has had a long-term contract with a local landscaping/lawn maintenance/snow removal company since 2004. The summer care usually starts in late April, and the grass, bushes, hedges, and trees get trimmed weekly or as needed all summer long. All this without any input from me, which is a good thing. One less thing to have to manage, you see.

Until it doesn't work.

Said company has apparently gone the way of the dodo, and they don't return e-mails, voicemails, website inquiries, etc.

So I've been scrambling to find a replacement company. In June, with summer-time plant growth well underway, that can be difficult-to-impossible.

But sometimes, it really is who you know. I called the company that does our janitorial, and they recommended their guy to me - and then called him, to recommend us to them.

Met the owner of the new company this morning, and it looks like they can provide the same service we were getting before. Which is a good thing, when you're dealing with professionals as tenants. Let's just say they sometimes require a bit of ... well, fluffing. :)


In the meantime, there's this: the building HVAC is automated; there is a server which "talks" to all the controllers, nodes, thermostats, motors, fans, variable drives, boilers, air handlers, chillers, et cetera. I connect to that server remotely from the PC on my desk.

Until last Friday, when I started getting "unable to connect" messages. To access the server means running up two flights of stairs (the elevator doesn't go all the way up - make of that what you will!), through a locked door, and donning sound-deadening earmuffs to prevent being deafened by some Very. Large. Motors. in the mechanical room. That, just to sit down at the keyboard there, to access the system.

If I only had to get into the software once per day, it wouldn't be such a big deal. BUT (you knew there was a "but" coming, didn't you?) each time someone is unhappy with the temp(s) in their suite, I have to go in and change the settings.

Have I mentioned that we're having a heat wave this week? It was 83° at 1:30 this afternoon. If you know anything about Anchorage, you'll know that's quite unusual. 65° is a normal June temp, and over 70 is considered pretty warm.

So I started getting complaints about temps too warm in this room or that, early this day, and had already been up to the penthouse (i.e., 4th floor mechanical room) four times before 10 a.m.

The I.T. guy didn't show up until 1:30 this afternoon. Sigh ...

Anyway, the grass should be cut by mid-week, and then all will be well, right?

Right?

Oh, never mind. I'm sure there'll be another issue by then. But one day at a time, and all that.


* I'm property manager, building manager, and facilities manager. Sometimes, I pick up some trash or sweep the sidewalk, too.

I Can Fiction; Can You?

Wrong on so many levels ... I love it!

Monday, Redux

I Told You So Dept: the weatherman told us what we already knew, this morning. The seasonal average snowfall-to-date is 29"; we've had only 10" this year.

By the way, you know how weather-folk are always telling us they have a 50% accuracy rating? Well, they do: it's the portion of the broadcast where they tell us the current conditions.

Upcoming weather? They're guessing, just like everyone else. Heh... {/snark}


We Always Talk About It But Who Knew? Dept:  It seems there will be a major motion picture filmed in Whittier, AK next year (about an hour southeast of Anchorage).

The film will be be directed by "Casino Royale" director Martin Campbell, executive producers said in Whittier. Hollywood trade publications have reported Gerard Butler ("300") is attached to star. 

The movie, "Hunter Killer," has been in the works for at least five years with the project once pre-approved for an Alaska film subsidy in 2012. Producers for the film said the project is now a reality, with about 90 percent filming to take place in the Alaska town of 229 people.

The thriller is based on the George Wallace novel "Firing Point," about a U.S. nuclear submarine that faces a Russian sub. The producers said they chose Whittier because the town resembles a Russian naval base. [emphasis added]

Anyone who's visited Whittier knows that while the mountains and bay are spectacularly beautiful, the buildings are ... less so. But a Russian naval base?

Ouch. :)


Disparity Much? Dept:  The price of a gallon of gas dropped suddenly to $2.99 in Eagle River and Chugiak (north of Anchorage). It was still $3.24 at the stations near my house, this morning.

Greed? Uneven distribution? A completely different distributor? Who knows? But it would sure be nice to see another twenty-five cents dropped from the price, locally.


And that's all I have, this morning. Thanks for stopping by, friends.

It Was a Good Weekend

Saturday morning, I stood in line outside the neighborhood tire shop, waiting to get the summer tires mounted on our cars.

The view from the parking lot

Yesterday, we decided to go "non-traditional" for Easter dinner: barbequed chicken and pork, fresh homemade potato salad, and a selection of dessert pastries made by our younger daughter.

Uncooked chicken on the left, with the finished pork tenderloins in the stoneware pot on the right. BBQ sauce is in the tub, right front.

It was a warm, sunny weekend, with temps a few degrees above normal in the low 50s. Nothing to complain about. :)

Now we shall see what the day holds. I hope your Monday is a good one - and thank you for stopping by.

A Comment About Comments

I've switched Blogger settings back to a pop-up window for comments, as a few folks have encountered issues with their browsers and/or settings. They've been unable to leave comments when replies were enabled.

For whatever reason, Blogger doesn't offer the "reply" option in the full-page or pop-up window settings; only when "embedded" is selected.

Hmmph. Anyway, that's the way it is, this snowy morning. Have a great day, and thanks for stopping by!

Back To Work

Mail to open and review; e-mails to clear, delete or answer; checks to deposit; issues to resolve. In other words, it will be just like any other day, but multiplied by the six business days I was away.

I'll try to come up for air later.

Monday, Monday

Our annual subzero spell continues; it was -14 at my place at 6:30 a.m.  These temps are nothing compared to what's going on around much of the lands to the north, but it's cold enough. (The coldest temp I've personally experienced is the -27 we had one morning, a year ago.)

I know one guy in Fairbanks who not only uses a block heater for his truck, but also goes out a half-hour early to put a weed-burner under the engine compartment, while laying every quilt he owns across the hood. After 20 or 30 minutes, he can then start his truck. I'm grateful we don't have those extremes here.

He has also broken several tires (yes, that's the right verb) because rubber seams crack at -55 to -60.

* * * * *

I wrote yesterday about the 322"+ of snow in Valdez. I see this morning that they're offering $20.30/hour for snow shovelers. There was also a story on the radio about a guy who had to use his metal detector to locate his snow-thrower.

I've seen heavy snow like that on Adak Island (in the Aleutians), and it's fascinating to experience. Shoveling it ... not so much fun.

But, because of the day, there's this:

Gota keep on rollin'

Nothing much happening this morning, other than the same old, same old.

I haven't said anything recently about new followers, but want to welcome them to my little corner of the intarwebz. Welcome to caterina serra, Casey, Bragon Dorn, lisa.berry01, The Simple Woman, dakotas5, 45er, Well Seasoned Fool, and ShallNotBeInfringed.

I'm mulling details for the next chapter of "MHI Alaska: A Dish Served Cold", so there's that to look forward to ... if you've been among those who read it.

Thanks for stopping by. Oh ... and bonus points for anyone who guesses the origin of the title of this post.